calling myself out..

me at my goal weight of 165 lbs, an entire 50 pounds lighter than last year.

i just did it. again.. that common mistake people make that i mentioned in my last blog post.. i managed to reach my goal, and then i stopped doing all of the things that got me there. maybe not entirely, as a lot of them have become habit, like the fitbit ocd i now have. and of course, the Shakeology. thankfully i actually enjoy it, which is a miracle, and it's super simple to make.. and just happens to have a boost of everything i need for the days i'm feeling too lazy to be healthy. which has been a lot lately.

last time i caught myself in the act. this time i let it go on... thankfully i didn't gain any weight back. permanently anyways. but i have been feeling like crap, and it's starting to show on my face. my skin hates it when i eat oily or sugary things, and i'm totally guilty of downing a bag of chips or two in the past week, loaded with both. a little break-out is enough of a sign for me to get back up on it.

it's not like i dropped my healthy lifestyle completely, as i said i do have healthy habits established now, the smoothies and dark green based salads have still been staples in my diet. but i have been a little over-indulgent on things i shouldn't have. and as much as i hate to admit it [but i'm calling myself out here, that's the point..] i started smoking again. roughly around the same time i started working the job that i've been blaming my life-hate on, a physically demanding, mentally draining, and shift-rotating job at which i can barely afford to survive at let alone thrive. i'm still debating holding out at this company for an upcoming full-time position, or finding something new. the stress isn't helping my situation, so i have to stop letting it get to me and get on with my life.

that said, today i dropped the excuse of taking 20-40 thousand steps a day as a reason not to work out, and restarted the PiYo challenge. i decided to become a BeachBody coach earlier this summer because i do have faith in their products, their workouts certainly give results if you stick with them and do them correctly. the Shakeology was an added bonus, i never ever like shake mixes and usually ditch them before finishing a bag, but their vegan chocolate option is actually amazing. anyhoo back to the coach thing.. as much as i enjoy their products, and even though i have seen results and proven myself successful in using them, i'm far too modest to put myself out there and sell this thing.

i should really give it a shot though.. i'm just not sure where to begin. i have my story, i have results, and i'd really love to help other people do the same.. but i know it's expensive [not really, compared to a daily starbucks and picking up a new video game], and i know it takes dedication, and i'm not sure if i have what it takes to coach others when i sometimes have a hard time staying on track myself. i suppose that's just another realistic dynamic of being engaged in such a challenge, changing your entire lifestyle to encourage health from a state of illness can be daunting. being and/or having a coach is a good place to start with accountability. sometimes you fall down. no reason not to get back up.. at least that's what i'm telling myself. time to get up.

i'm so thankful that i started this blog. it's almost hard to believe without looking back, how heavy and unhealthy i was, and how i could allow myself to get that way especially knowing all that i know. it's a reminder of the challenges and the lessons, and a motivation when i feel like giving up on myself. although i have been determined to change my life and regain my health, i wasn't always confident that it would work. it's time to take it to the next level, beyond just losing a few pounds and reaching a numerical goal. for 2015 my new challenge is to strive for super-fit, and put this thing to work for me. i wanna be a coach, for real! because if i can do it, i truly and honestly believe that anyone can. i'm stubborn, 'lazy' at times, and LOVE food, on top of having a pre-existing health condition that causes weight gain and fatigue. and here i am, fifty pounds lighter and in far less pain. impossible is Nothing. onward!

getting the goal.. and beyond.

well, i made it for a minute there. i did the seemingly impossible, losing fifty pounds in about 9 months. weight that took years to accumulate due to ill health and poor choices. weight that i'd never thought i could lose. and here i am.. i crossed the 'finish line', but it's not over yet.

i think a common mistake that people make when they set a goal for themselves most particularly involving weight loss, is thinking 'hey, i made it' and then suddenly stop all the good things they were doing to get them there in the first place. the weight comes back, the individual becomes frustrated and claims that the program or whatever 'didn't work'. of course i've said it before and i'll say it again, maintaining good health involves life-long changes for the better. no matter what you're doing to get there, chances are if you stop and go back to doing whatever you were doing before, you'd end up right where you began. unhealthy and unhappy.

not gonna lie, i did exactly that. but i caught myself soon enough.. one of the reasons i insist on stepping on the scale daily is to keep myself in check. just as it's not easy to tell you've lost weight when you're stuck inside your body, it's also hard to tell you've gained it. especially if it's 'only' five pounds. that extra long weekend of pizza and ciders and and smokes and submarine sandwiches took it's toll. five pounds on, guts in a knot and a yummy cough. gotta love it. nah.. gotta take responsibility, suck it up and get back on that there wagon.

after being a couple months without, i finally had to bite the bullet [ha!] and purchase a new nutribullet. i'd killed mine before leaving home anyways, so i didn't feel so bad getting a new one. now i just have to get back in the habit of using it daily.. at the very least i make sure to have my Shakeology. i know it's a shake mix, but it's delicious and filling and vegan which is a million times better than grabbing a cheeseburger on the go. i still have my hand crank juicer somewhere, but not having a garden to feed the compost to makes me more conscious of the waste. one of my new goals is to try some of those 'super boost' green drinks in the recipe book. and do my best to make them taste as cream as the booster juice... i don't know how they do it! but i will figure it out.

and beyond..
now that i know what 166 looks and feels like, i know my journey to better fitness isn't over. i'm not sure what i was expecting, except maybe to not feel so heavy on my feet. this is true. now that i've achieved this, i'm fairly confident that i can move forward from here with some more specific goals. now that the majority of the pounds that were in my way are gone, i can work on toning muscles, tightening up and maybe even push a little further down the scale.

my main challenge at the moment is re-establishing a routine. i've been kind of vagabonding around since the middle of summer which certainly added to the challenge of maintaining any sort of ritual. now that i've finally decided to settle in somewhere for the winter, i can re-build my healthy habits and work on some new ones. i have to get back on the workout routine for sure, the hills of Vancouver have been quite a help but now that i'm adjusting i have to continue to push my body's limits.

i'm currently working the night shift, which is tiring and not usually a good thing when trying to establish a healthy way of life. but it's my reality right now, and i have to make the best of it. working the opposite of everyone else kind of forces me to have a lot of time to myself, and though that gets a little uncomfortable at times, it's probably exactly what i need right now, so the best thing i can do is embrace it, and make the most of every moment.

well, that's where i'm at right now.. excited to achieve and to move forward. thanks again to all my readers family and friends for your ongoing support and encouragement. without it, i likely wouldn't be writing an ongoing success story. love! until next time..

21 months in - the journey

it's been a long one, and it's not over. i'd usually do this 'review' process around the end of the year to see where i'm at, but now is a better time. i've certainly come to the end of something. i have finally come to the end of being in the 'obese' range on most conventional BMI charts that compare height to weight. at 5'5 and 215lbs my BMI was around 35, and now i'm down to 173 which put me around 28. of course these charts don't know that i have more muscle than the average female my height/weight, so a proper BMI measurement at some point may be helpful. i'm still overweight, but not obese. says these charts. and that's something.

i've struggled with my weight for many years. when i was ten i was diagnosed with hashimoto's thyroiditis. for years my energy and weight would fluctuate, i would spend months at a time absolutely exhausted yet unable to sleep. no matter my efforts diet wise, it didn't seem to matter. i steadily gained weight, roughly 8 pounds a year since high school. being 'fat' never bothered me, but feeling unhealthy does. the last twenty pounds i gained i could really feel. it gets harder to walk, to bend, to move, to work... i was getting in the way of myself, and tiring myself out just carrying the extra me around. not to mention what goes on inside when carrying extra pounds...

insult to injury
long since my underyling health issues fully developed including digestive issues i've been living with since around the same age, i had done some of my own additional damage. pills, alcohol, cigarettes, caffeine, poor food choices, sugar, salt... the list goes on. there was a good number of years that i didn't much care about the state of my well-being, and i think most of us have been there. but not everyone recovers. i hope to recover.

the time had finally come where i felt motivated to do something about it. to take responsibility for my own health and well being, knowing no one else can do it for me. western medicine had no solutions, conventional dieting and exercise only served me temporarily. i had to make a change in my attitude towards myself and my health, and i had to make some real lasting lifestyle changes. but first i had to accept that i got myself into this mess, even if blindly i got here myself.. and i can and do have the power to dig myself out.

time to change
at the end of 2012 i made a resolution, and i made it publicly. i announced that i would do what it takes to find better health, and lose the weight. i started this blog to keep track of my progress, but also to keep me accountable. as soon as i started posting, people engaged in conversations about my proposed journey. people i would have never expected to read my blog started talking to me at work about how i was doing. this alone gave me tons of motivation not to give up, everyone is watching and cheering me on.

by the end of 2013 i had tried everything from running, to diet plans, to various meal replacement and weight loss products only to see temporary results. i did yoga, pilates [which are both great by the way, if you stick with them!], various 30, 60 and 90 day challenges, even that green coffee bean stuff. each thing did have an effect, but only short term. by the end of the year i was right back where i started weight wise, but much more informed. i learned that above all diet was key, before exercise routines and gym memberships, i had to start with what i'm made of, what i eat.

i had learned something precious. there are products and programs out there that do work, some that don't. many offer a 'boost' in the right direction, but without diligent maintenance it's easy to fall off. i finally found something that i wish i had found in the beginning, but at the same time i'm glad that i hadn't tried it right away as i wouldn't have known the true value when it comes to cost, quality and effort involved. before i get into that, i'll write a little more about finding my own path.

life's unexpected challenges
things happen that make you think.. unfortunate things mostly, like losing someone close to you. my cousin was only 32 when she lost the fight with cancer in March of this year. my mother was only 55 when she passed in May after spending the last twenty years of her life on disability. both of their lives were very much in the hands of western medicine, neither had much of a chance. it's hard to get your mind around things like that. it's difficult sometimes to continue searching for better health when it seems so impossible. headed down the same path health wise it really made think, what is wrong here? what are we doing to ourselves? i feel like now more than ever i must think 'outside the box'. i decided to start doing my own research.

self education
we have an infinite supply of information available to us every day instantly, and a lot of the time for 'free'. it takes a little sifting, common sense and citation but self education is completely possible and recommended. if you don't have any idea where to start looking, there's at least a couple dozen good 'food docs' out there these days that showcase the awesome power of food. there are two good ones to start with, Food Matters, and Hungry for Change. watch either or both and look further into the stories of the people shared and you will find leads to endless information.

beyond food documentaries i have also picked up many texts about nutrition and researched some of the fundamentals of nutritional science. what do we need to survive? to thrive? i've asked these questions before, only now i'm finding answers. and i've also found that everyone is unique and what works for some won't work for others, but overall the more raw vegetables fruits and foods included in my diet, the better i feel. juicing is an absolutely amazing discovery which helped to really kickstart my journey to better health.

making the changes
i learned the hard way... start slow. trying to change everything at once is simply too overwhelming which increases the chance of failure. for me anyways.. i've heard [and read] the same from others who have been successful in changing their routine and building healthy habits. i started by adding good things to my diet, ultimately crowding out foods that aren't as good for me and have less or no nutritional value. after eating good foods that aren't saturated in processed oils and salt and sugar, now if i reach for these things they just don't taste as good as i remember.

incorporating more exercise into my lifestyle was more of a challenge than i thought. a part of my struggle being that i was already living a reasonably active lifestyle, it seemed daunting to attempt to add more physical activity. the first thing i did was invest in one of my now favourite tecky little gadgets, the fitbit. now i know exactly how active i am and when, and i can see when i haven't been very active and challenge myself to get up and do something. it's better than an app that requires you to always have your phone on you, as it's tiny and discreet and the charge on the battery lasts about a week. i still use it to this day.

the first few months of 2014 i did little more than replace breakfast with smoothies and fresh pressed juice, and keep track of my steps making sure to get a little extra walk or jog in if i didn't meet my goal. i'd hit the gym a few times a week to make use of the machines. i noticed that on days i had made a juice i felt a lot more energy and didn't need a nap half way through my day. i was losing roughly one pound per week, which is substantial! i've more or less kept that rate up, as i'm 37 pounds lighter than i was in January.

as time went on making better food choices was reflexive. on the days i'd laze out and grab a quick snack, i'd feel it in my guts within the hour, instant regret. reaching for junk happens less and less often. my body craves the good stuff now that it knows what it's missing when i don't eat well. also i'd feel sluggish and sore if i didn't get enough activity in for the day, so i'd find a good workout to add to my routine.. my body now craves good exercise as well. and that's how i built some healthy habits!

where i'm at
fifty pounds seemed like an impossible weight loss goal at first, but now that i've come this far i'm confident i can [eventually] work myself back into the athlete i once was, maybe even a better one. i'm also sure that working through the last ten pounds may well take about as long as the first forty but i've learned something key: don't give up. it's okay to feel like crap some days and it's okay if i slip up, but it's important to never ever ever ever give up.

now back to my major discovery.. Beachbody! i owe the last ten pounds, and the simplification of my diet to this company and their incredible products. after learning the hard way all on my own that their workouts are the most effective, i was glad to have found them. i'm also glad i went through everything that i did first. i feel that i have a greater appreciation for finding a system that works for me that was designed by professionals that know their stuff. it gets even better..

i'm probably the hugest skeptic when it comes to health products and meal replacements, i've tried them all. when i became a Beachbody Coach i told my own coach that i'd totally rock the workouts and help others get into them, but i'd be highly unlikely to try their shake products. firstly because i'm sensitive to whey, and second there's no way their shake ingredients could even touch the lineup of healthy smoothie boosts i have sitting in my cupboard. she insisted that i give them a try at least, to get a feel for the products. after doing my research i found that they did indeed use a lot of those exact same boosts i had bought separately, and that they have a vegan option!

i was thrilled and had to try it. i've tried a few other vegan protein shakes and meal replacements and not liked the taste, even when blended with things. with my Shakeology, the taste isn't so bad, and it really satisfies my hunger. i am truly, absolutely amazed, and how much easier it is when traveling to make sure i get everything i need in a day.. instead of trying to find all my boosts and healthy stuff when traveling, i just need to bring a few packets of Shakeo with me, and suddenly it's way easier to be healthy on the road! what a relief, and what timing.

here's where i'm at now, 173lbs. little tank. Beachbody's PiYo workout [my new favourite] has helped me through. i'm strengthening muscles i forgot i had! i finally crushed a couple pounds off the plateau i've been stuck at [176lbs]. now just barely past it, i know it's going to be a lot of work moving forward. it's worth it to know i'm prolonging my life, and improving the state of the vessel that i'm experiencing it through. surviving is one thing, but to thrive.. that is my goal. and it's ongoing...

Day 18-30 - the Thirty Day Challenge

so i dropped off the face of the planet.. it happens! i kept up mostly with workouts until the day i boarded the bus, and then of course everything changed. i've managed to keep my diet in check since i left for the coast, there was one fast-food indulgence on the bus, and a frank at a husky stop. otherwise, not bad! i have a few packets of shakeo that i've been using every few days when i need a pickup, but i had skipped a shipment that was due the same time i'd planned to travel. i have other boosts to make smoothies with until the next box arrives.

the bus ride was rough, needless to say i didn't get much exercise. i did manage to get a few thousand steps in each day by walking as far and back as i could at meal stops, or doing laps of the terminal places i couldn't wander too far. sleep was minimal, bus travel isn't good for that unless you don't mind sitting for days on end. some people pass right out, not me... impossible.

after wandering Vancouver for a couple days i've already located places to  buy cheap fresh produce, and places to collect various healthy goodies i enjoy like unsweetened coconut water and bulk nuts and dried fruits. speaking of wandering Vancouver.. being a pedestrian in this city is a workout of it's own. i'd love to get a bike! everywhere is a hill. the way home for most people involves going up for the most part. i love that i haven't climbed an actual set of stairs all week and yet my fitbit sees the change in elevation with my steps as flights, apparently i did 43 flights yesterday.. that's pretty cool.

well i'm rockin' a place to stay for now in the city until i move along, and i'm doing my best to get back into a sort of routine. i've been retired from retail for a month now, and really digging in to what it takes to be a wellness coach so that i can help others make progress on their goals as i have, despite extra little challenges. right now being transient is one of those challenges, and i must adjust to my environment and situation.

ahhh yes and to conclude the 30 days i've lost 3 pounds and 4 inches total. not bad considering i'm nearing the end of my 50 pound weight loss goal! sorry about the delay, i'll attempt to stay connected in the coming weeks despite the impending adventures. to health, happiness, and fresh air!

Day 12-17 - the Thirty Day Challenge

all of a sudden, it got real busy. the good news is, i haven't skipped a shakeo or a workout. the meh news is, the scale isn't moving much.. but the number has decreased. i wasn't expecting much considering i'm at the last ten pounds of my fifty pound overall weight loss challenge this year, and i've been stuck here for a while. i lost over 30 pounds in the first 21 weeks, then.... huge plateau. the interesting thing is, my shape is changing. it's showing minimally in the measurements [i'm down overall about 2 inches and a pound and a half] but i do look and feel different. clothes fitting different, that sort of thing. something is happening..

i feel pretty good. i've been hella busy preparing for a big long journey west, and this challenge has been the cornerstone of keeping any sort of schedule or routine. i'm keeping up with it despite my strange sleep patterns, sometimes the workouts happen around midnight, sometimes it's early in the morning. but it's happening. i don't get to choose when i sleep, but i'm sleeping. i'm working on the when, and it won't help changing three time zones next week, so i think i'll wait on the when till i get there.

for the past few weeks we've been getting some pretty decent weather. cooler than our average summers, it's been nice sleeping outside in the tent. the time has come to pack it up, and busy as i have been, kick my agenda into high gear. each day between now and departure is right full, and it will be an even greater [but very much worth it!] challenge to keep it up. the bus journey will be interesting. i'm starting to collect some clean snacks, and some not-so-horrible treats so i'm not tempted to grab junk on the road.

well, i've got to get to my PiYo and clean up a little. tomorrow i have some running around to do, lunch with Matty [probably our last date before i go] and bring the last load of stuff i don't need to the storage locker. gotta fly!

Day 8 - the Thirty Day Challenge - Shakeology Recipe

alright day 8.. first of all, today was 'Sweat' day in PiYo land and holy crap i could barely keep up. i actually had to pause it a couple times! no one said i was in shape, which is the point in the first place. hopefully in a couple weeks i'll be able to make it straight through. as you could tell by the title of the episode, it was designed to get you moving. it's about ten minutes longer than the other ones so far and much quicker paced.

now back to that Shakeology stuff.. when i ordered it i'd told my coach that i would try it and probably stop the auto-order because i usually don't do premixed shakes. after yesterday's taste test i was a little more confident that i'd be able to 'work with it'. i have a fail-safe 'base' recipe that i've been hiding various supplements and superfoods in for my breakfast smoothies, so i decided to give that a try.

Chocolate Vegan Shakeology Peanut Butter Cup Smoothie

in the NutriBullet tall cup i put a frozen banana [fresh is fine but not the 'frozen shake' consistency], some unsweetened almond milk and unsweetened coconut water to a bit under the fill line. then i add the Chocolate Vegan Shakeology, a tablespoon of cold pressed coconut oil, a tablespoon [or to taste] of natural peanut butter, and some hulled hemp. pulse a few times, then blend. sip,.... amazing.

first of all, yes i am aware of the extra calories from the banana, coconut oil and peanut butter. if this concerns you and you want to try the recipe, alter it as you need. i use a lot of calories throughout the day as i don't spend a whole lot of time at rest. plus, these ingredients keep me full for longer and give lots of energy and i don't need to eat as much later on, which is why i use this base in the first place. it's actually more filling with the shakeology, and i split it in to two servings, breakfast and brunch.

a good day indeed. tomorrow is 'rest day' in the PiYo program, but i'll surely find something to do to stay moving. until then..

Day 7 - the Thirty Day Challenge - Shakeology first impressions

alright now for the fun! i've been excited to try different recipes with Shakeology ever since a friend told me about it. if i'm going to use a shake or meal replacement it must be vegan as whey does unpleasant things inside my stomach. in fact, i don't usually use any pre-mixed shake at all vegan or not, i've never found one i enjoy enough to keep using.

that said, it's usually all kinds of fun trying to hide the taste of said shake mix inside of some crazy recipe. i wanted to try my first serving on it's own though with some almond milk just to get a good idea of what i'm working with. the grit isn't as bad as others i've tried, and the cacao seems to mask the fresh-cut-lawn taste. it took a few sips before i could accept the taste [after my own recipe for smoothies not much stands a chance taste wise]. BUT! i could accept it.. just on it's own. that would never happen with other shake mixes. i hate to name names but i loved Vega as for what it could do for me, but there was no way in hell i could drink it straight, and it was a struggle even blending it.

 alright so we got taste covered. did it keep me full? actually, yeah it pretty well did the trick till noon and i get up at six. i usually don't eat much in the evening anyways, and i didn't feel the need to eat more than usual that's for sure. i don't know about curbing cravings though, that probably would come in time. and if it works to help for weight loss, i'm hoping i'll be able to tell in the first couple weeks.

oh energy, that i had today for sure. i went to the gym today and came home immediately after and did PiYo. the stretching felt good, and the flexing i could def feel the muscles that were worked yesterday. i hope i see some results from this program, i'm digging it so far.

tomorrow, trying an actual recipe for Shakeology, and PiYo: Sweat.