Where I'm at

Starting over isn't easy.. hence why it's taken me over a year to get back up on my horse.  As a very brief recap, I became very unhealthy in my late twenties and gained a lot of weight. In 2013-2014 I managed to lose almost 70 pounds total. Over the past year, I've almost gained it all back, and I'm sick all over again. So, here I am.. starting over.

One thing I'd recommend on any health and fitness journey whether starting from scratch or looking to reach new goals, is to find a coach. I was lucky enough that a wonderful coach found me.. so now it's time to take a look at where I'm at. I decided to share this info like I'm sharing everything else to keep my own records, and to hopefully inspire others along the way.

Here we go..


Stats

Age: 32 years
Height: 5'5"
Weight: 222.7 lbs
Size: 16

Health challenges:
Autoimmune disorder, hashimoto's thyroiditis, endometriosis, IBS, insomnia.
Injuries:
Tendonitis, carpal tunnel in right arm/ hand, sciatic nerve damage.

Diet

Mostly vegetarian. No milk ever, cheese sometimes, farm fresh eggs, garden veg [we grew a literal ton this summer]. Lately have been eating a lot of pasta and breads, and rice.

Guilty pleasures; our lunch snacks the past while included chips and the most chocolate laden granola bars you can even buy. Fast food maybe every 6 weeks we cave. Cutting back on the timmies. I buy cookies when the children visit... and partake in their consumption.

Exercise 

30-45 mins of brisk walkng per day
10-15 mins calisthenics per day
Minimal stretching

I'm currently challenging myself to take a minimum of 10,000 steps a day, and half hour of active routine. I like to mix some pieces of insanity and p90x for as long as I can handle with other calisthenics workout.

Environment

I'm currently living in what some lovingly refer to as a 'tiny home'.. which in actuality is a very small farm house out in the country. I do have access to long country roads, farm fields, and a waterway. I don't have very much space for indoor workouts and such, my whole house can be walked corner to corner in about eleven paces.

That said I am hoping to reacquire the gear that I had before moving west, as it worked for me by allowing me a variety of exercises with minimal equipment and space. These simple items include a yoga mat, small weights, and Lebert Equalizer bars.

 Sleep

The word sleep mostly exists in my vocabulary with the word 'can't' in front of it, I have had issues sleeping all my life. This week has been better than most averaging 6 hours a night, but I have had several weeks that average only 3 and a half. The amount I am active doesn't always necessarily mean more sleep, my sleeping patterns are often affected by weather, pain levels, the fullness of the moon,  and various stresses and occasional anxiety.

Stress

Speaking of stresses, there's far fewer in my life now in my life right now than there was say, 2 years ago. I'm no longer sleeping in the back of a pickup truck, or a tent or someone's couch, so there's that. My current stresses involve money and debt. Who doesn't stress about those things? I do lose sleep over it at times, but I'm grateful to be safe and warm and dry.

Lately my biggest stress though, has been about my health. I've been struggling with several issues that are exacerbated by not getting all the exercise I need for over a year, and the crappy diet I was consuming for the almost 2 years before that. I've only just begun to make some changes, but I often stress about the damage done.

Habits

I'm a non-drinker, and proud to say that as of this month I'm a non-smoker too. I did smoke about a pack and a half a day, and slowly weaned myself off using a vapor device.

Since driving and working long days on ladders, my daily step count is less than a quarter of what it was living in the city, walking and commuting. Not to mention my previous job involved pushing a mower or some various other small engine machine. I have become 'lazy' using my manual labour jobs as an excuse to do so.

Objective 

To regain control of my health through proper diet and nutrition, and improve my strength through exercise and movement. In short, I want to feel better so that I can better enjoy the life that I've worked hard for.


...


That's it for now. Stay tuned for challenge updates! I'll be writing about the ups and downs of my first week literally getting back on my feet. Thanks so much for reading, and your continuing support!

things falling apart.

okay. alright... so the last time i hit this blog was in december of 2014, about six months after my life started falling apart. i promised i wouldn't let it all get to me, and i called myself out for slipping. here i am again, starting over. not right from scratch, i'm certainly not back to the state of dis-ease i was in back in 2012/13. but if i keep on this path i'll be back there in no time. i can feel unpleasant things unraveling inside me. and the weight is a sure sign of the sickness, my body always does a good job of showing me on the outside when shit just ain't right within.

so, where am i at? i'm not entirely sure to be honest. i lost my scale on one of the several moves the past year and a half. my jeans do not fit me arse. my guts aren't working right. my hip has been mildly disjointed for quite a few weeks now and it's getting uncomfortable. i have a doc's appointment tomorrow to find out what's all up with my thyroid function, and hopefully get on my way to seeing some specialists about some things. i haven't really managed to stay put anywhere for very long since i moved west a couple years ago, and i think that has had a huge impact on my ability to maintain my physical health. i get frustrated when i'm on the move trying to accommodate to uppity diet restrictions and fitness routines. which shouldn't actually be as much a problem as it is, but unfortunately our society gives zero fucks about what it consumes and how it lives so i'm far too often left to choose the lesser of various evils when it comes to eating. things are changing in that realm, very slowly, but it's happening.

for the most part, this blog has been reserved for keeping track of my physical health, and i haven't made much mention of the mental side of things. if you already know me, you know that mental health issues a] run in my family, and b] have been a part of my every day life since i was a wee one. my mental health i have been less willing to address medically, mostly because of my blatant lack of trust in western medicine, especially regarding these kinds of things. brain chemistry isn't something that i like the idea of messing with. but, it's a thing. and another aspect of my health that i have to take responsibility for. i will admit, when i was doing all that i could physically to support this vessel, i was doing far better mentally than i ever was in my past, and i know that by addressing one side of things it will help the other. this time though i have to take a sort of backwards approach to find the mental motivation to take better care of myself physically.

so i gotta start where i'm at with what i've got. i have a steady place to stay right now which is rad. makes sleep and cooking and hygiene much more of a thing. i have my nutribullet smoothie machine, a hand crank masticating juicer i gotta pull out of storage, some space to do some stretches, and a produce market store right across the street. i gotta reset my system, ease in as to not go into shock and fall over. i have to find the right amount of calories for what i do for a living without eating anything that hurts. the way i did this last time was start swapping out components for cleaner options and figure out how much of that food is needed to make it up. i need a lot of calories especially in the colder months, and decent hydration. oh, and i have this blog. sooo thankful i kept track of things. i know i can do this again, and better.

one thing that i don't have and wish i did, is the garden space. i was spoiled back home with a quarter acre to do with what i pleased, and it turned to a sweet little camp surrounded by epic food gardens. the produce was abundant and delicious sun fresh. i am grateful to have access to a wee balcony, which my flat mate and i are attempting to turn into a mini food jungle.

oh ya! and how many times have i quit smoking now? like 6? haha. i'm kind of that path again, i've been smoking on the weekends and vaping during the week for a month or so. i'm just about ready to drop the cigs completely. i feel kinda strange about replacing them with a vape instead of going cold turkey, but i know myself and the act of smoking is just as addictive as the nicotine. for now at least, i need that thing to do. with that little bit of nicotine in the juice.

...

my challenge for 2016 is still a health challenge, just one without numbers. i don't have a weight loss goal [although i'll certainly lose some], i'm not as concerned about inches, i'll know i'm there when my clothes fit again. there's that little black dress.. [not even shitting, i own but one 'dress', it's black, and rad, and i will get into it again].

i just want to feel better. i want my guts to stop hurting. and bleeding. and my joints to hold together right. and my head not to hurt all the bloody time. and my hip.. i want to be able to climb a hill and take a breath at the top of it. be a part of the world around me and fully enjoy it without some sort of stabbing/throbbing/annoying pain. and have the energy to get excited about it! and feel like i deserve it, i suppose that's key. i just want to be me.

so that's what i'm gonna do. one step, two...

it's over due.

xo

tips and tricks to stay on track.

as i said in my last post, having the right attitude is key to changing my lifestyle. i've had to collect a few ideas to help me keep on a path to better health, as the journey isn't easy. here are a few things i'm doing to stay focused, maybe some of these tips will work for you!

1] tell someone about your goals [blog it!]
i think one of the best things i've done to keep myself focused was start this blog. not only so that i have something for myself to look back on, but to put myself out there and be 'public' about my challenge. i find that letting someone know that you've set a resolution or a goal for yourself ups your possibility of success. for myself i'm more likely to keep up on something if i let others know i'm doing it. lets take smoking for example..

i've been smoking off and on for years, and especially more so when i spent a couple of years on the night shift. i tried quitting on my own, and it didn't last for long. i tried quitting with my partner at that time, and as soon as they picked it up again so did i. when i got off the shift unfortunately i didn't leave the habit  behind, so in the fall of 2o12 i made it my goal to be smoke free by spring 2o13. i told everyone at work, and so.. i quit.. mostly. i'd still have one here and there, but after 'quitting' i could really feel the difference after having a smoke versus not having one. finally, in autumn of 2o13 i kicked the habit for good. i realized that the mild calming effect smoking had on me wasn't anywhere near worth the damage it was doing. i am slowly coming to the same point of realization with kicking the habit of eating processed foods.

2] write it down.
no matter what it is that i want to accomplish, i find i'm much more likely to achieve the goals that i have written down. seemingly even if i forget to look back over what i wrote until some time later, when i do find what i had written it seems it had already come true. as if the act of putting thoughts into words is the very first step of putting them into action.

i'm sort of using this blog to cover the first and second point, so that what i've written is accessible no matter where i am. not only do i like to write down what my ambitions are, but also my achievements. keeping track of things like how many reps or kilometers allows me to look back and see how i've improved. a big wall calendar can be handy for this. i just got one that i keep on the wall facing my bedroom door. i see it every morning when i walk out my door, which will help me to stick to my routine. something else that can help with all this..

3] there's an app for that!
yea, i gave in to the world of smartphones about a year ago, just so many functions and uses i couldn't resist any longer. there's a huge selection of smartphone apps that can help keep track of all of those things from caloric and nutrient intake, to exercise and distances covered. there's even types of bluetooth step counters the size of a little jump drive that tracks everything you do and when you do it, right down to your heart rate when you're asleep. i haven't quite jumped on that bandwagon yet, but it may be a future investment.

 right now i'm using an app that allows me to keep track of my intake [food, water etc] and my output [exercise, calories burned, time spent/distance traveled etc.] and it has a summary screen where i can view each day as a list. it's important to be honest here, because 'cheating' isn't hurting anyone but yourself. when i look back over my list for the day and i see something i don't like [maybe i had a few unhealthy snacks or didn't get enough exercise] then i can pinpoint what to focus on for the next day.

4] be prepared.
if it's worth it, chances are it ain't easy. but when it comes to building healthy habits, being prepared helps me to ease into a workout or preparing a batch of juice. to help with focusing on the workout i have dedicated a space in my apartment where the mat is always ready and my equipment is accessible. by doing so i'm more likely to make use of it instead of thinking "ahh dang everything i need right now is packed away" and procrastinating.

being prepared helps me in the kitchen too. juicing was hard for me to get into at first because of all the prep work involved. one thing that i have done to make it easier is keep my juicer in an accessible [and visible] location so that i don't have to dig for parts to get it set up. i keep all of the little bits for it in an easy to maneuver bucket that i can pull from bit by bit to assemble, and then put everything back in one piece at a time after when i take it apart and clean it. after a few times of assembly and dis-assembly, it's starting to become sort of a reflex and it doesn't take me nearly as long as it did when i started.

5] make it a mantra [and be grateful!]
i mentioned in the last point that juicing takes a lot of prep work, so to help me get through cutting up all that fruit and veg i have made it a mantra. first i gather and rinse everything that i want to use, and i assume a pose in front of the cutting board that is like 'mountain pose' which helps me focus on my posture. i then begin with say, the apples, half them, quarter them, slice out the core, done. and as i do this for each the motion becomes a meditation and each cut a part of a rhythm. i think to myself for each piece of food how grateful i am to have it to consume and improve my health. cut, breathe.. before i know it, everything is cut and ready to go!

this works with a lot of things, especially things that can seem daunting like getting into chores or organizing my belongings. i make a mantra out of seemingly menial tasks at work, focusing just as much on how i carry myself or bend or stretch when i'm moving about my job.

6] add in the goodness instead of restricting the 'bad'
i think one of the biggest reasons why people fail at attempting to lose weight or get in shape or change their lifestyle is the fact that they jump right in instead of easing in gradually. especially for changing eating habits.. it's a lot easier to start by simply adding better meal choices into your diet instead of thinking 'no i can't have all of these things, just that'. this actually works.. i'm in the process of perfecting my nutritional intake by means of this very method. eventually consuming so many good nutritious things starts to crowd out cravings for not-so-nutritious snacks.

in the beginning it's hard to imagine living a whole day without sugar or a chocolate bar or white bread or whatever, but as i started to add in the goodness i also started to lose my taste for processed foods. adding real nutrition may taste offish at first [ie fruit sugar versus refined sugar products] but once my body started to get used to what real sugars taste like, eating sugars in processed foods no longer tastes as irresistible as it once did. every once in a while i'll give in and have a snack that i know is totally horrible for me but from what i remember tastes amazing, i'll get half way through it and realize that it doesn't really taste as good as i remember. especially with bottled pasteurized juice, this rarely satisfies my thirst anymore, and leaves a bad taste in my mouth. i've even lost my taste for things i never thought i'd get over like salty pretzels [and other wheat products] and 'fake cheese products'.

7] find support.
this task has proven to be one of the more difficult ones for me, it's not always easy to reach out in a time of need but i believe that it is essential. many people hire personal trainers or a life coach to find the support they need, but not everyone [including myself] can afford that. it can be as easy as looking to a sibling or spouse or a good friend. having a mentor or just someone to talk to through such a transition can lighten the load. it's important to choose someone that has already gone down a similar path, and is willing to talk sense into you at points when you feel like giving up. i'm lucky enough to have a supportive partner who helps to keep me positive and even joins me in enjoying healthier food choices. and of course, there's always internet groups and online forums. finding a group of like-minded individuals working towards a common goal can be an immense amount of help.

8] act now.
procrastination has been at often times my worst enemy. i'm the type of person that will over analyze everything to bits and just sit there trying to figure out if something is good for me instead of just giving it a try. i think i waited a good few months between thinking running might be a good idea, and actually starting to run. i wish i would have just given it a try as soon as it came to mind, but it now serves as a lesson.

when it comes to improving my health, doing something is absolutely better than doing nothing. there shouldn't be at any point in my life a time where i can complain of being 'bored', and i have made a point of it. now whenever i'm sitting idle i think to myself, what could i be doing right now to improve the quality of my life or overall health? within a few moments ideas will appear. well, i could pop in that yoga dvd and stretch it out for an hour, or maybe organize my seed collection and start picking things i want to grow, or maybe just put on my headphones and go for a brisk walk. things like that. there's always lots to be done.

9] make it a hobby and have fun.
working towards better health doesn't have to be gruelling, which i suppose is the overall idea for this blog. instead of viewing exercise or preparing healthy foods as a chore, i view working towards better health as more of a 'hobby' to keep me interested. i found myself nerding out in a conversation about juicers at work today, and when i realized what was happening it made me smile. i now get excited over things like finding more nutrient packed 'superfoods' or discovering a new yoga position that relieves pressure off an achy joint. it's almost like playing a video game, leveling up, collecting health and building strength, only yknow.. in real life! my life!

10] challenge yourself.
when i started running, i could only go 7km tops in a day. by the time i'd dropped it due to joint issues i was pushing out nearly 20k on my runs.. i'd push myself a little further each day. i never saw myself as a runner, not even for a jog around the block. it's just never appealed to me, i much preferred a good climb up a steep escarpment trail. i shocked myself the first time i ran right into the next town, i smiled for days at the achievement. and it all started when i started this blog a year ago, the Sage Thrive Challenge. i wanted to do something new and truly challenge myself. without a good challenge there can be no true progress.

11]be adventurous!
and never say never. it can be a challenge in itself to keep an open mind about my health, and we are often taught that if it isn't a pill then it won't fix you. truth is, our bodies are capable of healing themselves and function optimally when they have what they need, and aren't being constantly toxified and stressed. so our mission is to figure out what those things are, and apply the knowledge. mild food sensitivities can cause a ton of different uncomfortable symptoms which are then treated with medicines we don't really need. everyone's body is unique and it's up to us as individuals to figure it out. this may result in a need for an all-out lifestyle change, but with an open mind and a sense of adventure, it can actually be fun!

well that's all i've collected for now, and it even took me a few days to write it all out. i'm sure as i go along the list will change and grow. on a side note, as a new challenge i signed up for a gym for the first time in my life... pre-opening rates, 4 weeks till it opens. so excited!!!