Plateau Woes

I'm stuck!

After almost two years of steady gaining weight, I managed to turn the trend around and start losing. I maxed out at 223 lbs, and I've lost thirteen so far bringing me down to 210. A month ago.. and this is where I've been stuck ever since.

Don't get me wrong, I'm glad that I was able to break the gaining trend. I'm ecstatic that I started to lose pounds, I can even feel that my jeans are a little looser, and that's always nice. But I've hit my first plateau a lot sooner than I did the first time around, and I've been stuck here a lot longer. It's frustrating.

I know that a big part of my 'problem' is stress. Emotional stress is a big one, especially when it comes to my current financial situation. For the past year I've been a subcontractor which is always 'iffy' when it comes to timing of pay, and the year before that I wasn't in the best situation living wise. It's not easy to maintain your health when you're working two jobs and sleeping outside. These two things compiled into being stuck in a state of almost constant stress, and holding weight is the number one physical and metabolic reaction my body has to stress.

The housing issue thankfully was solved when we found this house. Our financial situation though has yet to improve, but there is light at the end of the tunnel. All year I gave my 'boss' the benefit of the doubt that things would change and our pays would be more consistent, so that I could afford my vegan supplements and the more costly higher quality nutrient dense foods and beverages that my body needs. Things seemed to improve a bit last summer, and then went for a complete nosedive in the fall.

I had to fire my boss, and there's bound to be a pay gap in my already broke situation, but I feel the weight lifting off my shoulders already just knowing that there's an end in sight. Hopefully this will be the stress relief I need to get myself back on track mentally, and I'll finally get paid like a real person so that I can afford my nutritional needs.

*sigh*

The third stress is a seasonal one. I always tend to gain a little over the winter, and it's definitely the hardest time of year to get any weight off which is why I'm glad I managed to get anywhere at all. This winter has decided it's not quite ready to be over yet, and the cold and rain and hail is a little discouraging when it comes to getting anything done outside. We've had a few nice days here and there, but between freezing my arse off at work all day and the cold wind, I haven't been going for many walks.

Nutrition wise, I was doing alright until I ran straight out of money. I decided to try intermittent juice fasting which was working very well for me. One might think that something involving 'fasting' would be cheaper overall, but given that it's winter and we have nothing freshly growing at the moment, this is not the case. I was spending roughly 15-20 bucks per day on absolutely everything that I was consuming if you factor in the produce and supplements in my morning smoothie, my fresh plant based lunch, and my juice for dinner. Now that's actually pretty cheap given how nutrient dense all of my meals were [WAY cheaper than buying lunch/morning coffee etc], but when you have no money coming in, it's just not feasible.Garden season can't come soon enough.

This is where I'm at, and though I'm a little stuck, I'm not giving up. I just need an extra minute and a chance to power through. Thanks for reading, and your ongoing support! My mission to gain my health back this year will be fulfilled.

have a happy healthy day, stay blessed!

The [gravity] struggle

It's difficult sometimes to explain to someone who has never had weight challenges, what it feels like to be overweight. My loving, amazing partner comes from a family of eaters, most of which are also overweight. He tells me all the time that my weight doesn't matter, it's what's on the inside that counts. But what he forgets is how all that weight makes me feel on the inside.

...

Stress and depression are the two main factors in weight gain for me. If I land myself in a very stressful situation, my body retains fat. It's a defense mechanism of being in 'survival mode'. When I suddenly became homeless 2 and a half years ago [again] it was unexpected, and it put a lot of stress on my mind and body. I slowly started to retain the weight.

I remained in survival mode for so long it became difficult to switch it off. I kept gaining the weight even after finding a home, which stressed me out even more. I'd eat to numb the stress, which made me gain more weight. And the vicious cycle throws me into a landslide.

...

So back to my point. In the past two and a half years, I've gained 60 pounds. This put me well over 200 pounds, which some people find hard to believe.

I went ladder shopping for work, and a fella tried to sell me a cheaper ladder that was on sale for a third of the price of the one I was looking at, but I nearly exceeded the weight limit. When I pointed to the sticker and said I needed a stronger ladder, he looked me up and down and said, "is the ladder for yourself?" ... yes. Yes and I nearly exceed the limit on this ladder.

He told me if that's so, I certainly carry it well. I'm told that all the time when people hear what I weigh. Including my doctor. The fact that I don't look like I weigh over 200, or that I "carry it well" doesn't really matter. What matters is that I'm still carrying it!

Imagine walking into a grocery store, and you don't get a shopping cart. The first thing you go for is a 10lb bag of potatoes. Now you walk around with that bag for quite some time, and go back and slowly pick up 5 more. You can never put them down.

Those 6 ten pound bags of potatoes are now putting extra pressure on your feet.. on your ankles and knees. One of those bags lives on your chest, making it hard to breathe when you're trying to sleep. They're getting in the way of performing everyday activities. Carrying all that extra weight causes a lot of pain and discomfort over time, and does damage of it's own.

When I explained this to my wonderful, supportive, rail thin partner, he finally got what I was talking about. Now he really understands why I'm being so adamant about dropping the weight, why my feet always hurt and I'm exhausted after work. And ultimately why being so overweight makes me depressed and uncomfortable.

I'm so thankful that he's on board 100% with helping me lose the weight. For the first year that we've lived here and worked the same schedule, we would come home and he'd do any general maintenance on the yard or house our vehicle while I prepared dinner. But it was always a dinner "for him" that I would end up eating too.

The past week or so I have been juicing for dinner, and it takes time and prep and cleanup, and he's had no issues cooking the "real meals" while I make my batch of juice. He knows that I love cooking for him, but until I master my new healthy routine, he might have to do the cooking for a while. And he's quite alright with that.

He can see that it's paying off. In the past 3 weeks of eating cleaner and adding the juice, I've almost put down one full bag of those potatoes. I feel a little better already. My knees are thanking me (and it's a little easier to do up my pants!).

This is just the beginning. I have 5.2 bags of potatoes left to get rid of, and I'm getting there. Thanks again for reading, and for your love and support. And remember, if you're on a similar journey and you need a little motivation, I'm here for you too!


xo

5 pounds down..

53 to go. And when your monthly trend has been an increase of 4 or 5 pounds, losing five is an amazing feeling. My current weight is 218, down from 223, with a goal of 165. It's a reasonable goal that would put me at a size 8 pant, and is my optimal weight for performance and strength.

So, what have I done differently? First, no sugar. I've cut out pretty much all processed foods besides the occasional gluten free bread toasted veggie sandwich, and my vegan protein powder that gets mixed into my morning smoothies.

I've also been doing my best to drink more water. I've cut out fruit juices, I never drink soda, and if I want something warm I'll opt for a rooibos or green and peppermint tea sweetened with local non pasteurized honey. In order to make water easier to drink (and more hydrating), I add a shot of organic lemon juice, and a splash of coconut water. Bam, naturally flavored water!

For me, diet is the number one factor when it comes to losing weight. My system simply can not deal with processed, artificial food-like substances. Even though I am well aware of this, I had slipped back into the trap. I was eating whatever I could get for cheap that would keep well, not considering the damage it would cause.

 When I'm craving sweets, I reach for a fruit. I keep apples and bananas on hand for when my body screams for sugar. The trick to this and not going for unhealthy junk food is simple- don't buy the junk. Don't even have it in the house. Living half an hour from the nearest grocery store helps me with this.. and of course, making my partner well aware of my healthy intentions.

Otherwise, I haven't really been doing much different. My next big step is to get more exercise in my day. I've been exhausted lately now that I'm finally back to work, and when I come home aching, it's hard to find the motivation. I'm trying to train myself to wake up earlier so I cam include a half hour routine before work.

Well, that's where I'm at. I have re-proven to myself that something as simple as eating a more natural diet and avoiding sugar makes a big difference on it's own. This week I will start waking up 45 minutes earlier to make an attempt at a morning workout routine. Happy Sunday!

28 days later...

So. Four weeks in to 2018. Call me traditional, but I've always had the best luck with New Year's resolutions. Perhaps it's just the idea of setting such a symbolic deadline, either way, I use the conscious cue to my advantage. I want this year to be measurably better for me health wise than last year, and so far I'm on the right track.

First, I'm done with nicotine. I'm finally off the hook. I don't even feel the need to vape anymore, I'm well over it. I couldn't be more proud of myself for doing it, and thankful that I'm finally free of that trap. It's hard to heal a body that is constantly being assaulted by toxins, so this was a critical first step. I worked on this diligently last year. That whole 2 months of no work and being broke admittedly helped a lot. See? I knew the lull in finances had it's purpose!

Next unhealthy habit to go, was eating things that I am aware cause pain and damage and weight gain when I eat them. It's a lot of things. To summarize, my genes were not at all prepared for all these modern day processed foods and refined substances and isolated nutrients. Everyone in my maternal bloodline has had an uncomfortable and deadly struggle with these in our past few generations. Kicking processed "foods" out of my diet is essential for healing. I'm well on my way with this too.

My morning smoothie game is strong. I make sure they're packed full of plant based superfoods, and free of refined sugars or artificial anythings. They're filling, nutrient dense, and give me the energy I need to get my day going. I follow that with a warm peppermint or rooibos tea with local honey. Much better than my "orange pekoe double double and a berry muffin" from Timmies on the way to work.

Lunches can be a challenge, but I'm including as much plant based whole foods as I can, and pass on the bread. I kept eating breads until I built up a 'tolerance'... and that tolerance came with several pounds of body fat. I've learned that's how my body reacts to things it doesn't like. It retains fat and creates extra mucous to attempt to 'buffer' the effects of whatever-it-is I shouldn't be eating. Makes sense, really. And since lunch is typically my main actual "meal" of the day, I'm doing much better at making it a healthy one.

Dinner was the worst. After a long day of work the last thing I'd want to do was make two separate meals at the same time in one kitchen. My partner is a carnivore which I don't have a problem with [unless I end up sharing the meal which always ends in a stomach ache]. He likes his heavy starchy gluteny filling supper, but for me I must avoid eating heavy so late in the day. Another benefit of having time off was having the time to come up with some evening snack ideas that don't hurt me- but we can still sit down together to enjoy a bite.

Food is life. What you put in you is what you get out of it. I know this, I've done my research and I've seen my results [which I kept track of in the history of this blog]. But I had let the stresses that were in my life rule me. I stopped caring. I ate whatever I could afford or get my hands on even knowing it'd do damage to my body, but at the time would rather maintain on cheap 'food' than suffer starvation. When you spend an extended amount of time stuck in "survival mode" it can be the biggest challenge to get out of it. And many of us are stuck in that mode without even realizing. Well, I'm done with just merely surviving. It's time to Thrive. For good this time.

My third- and possibly greatest challenge to overcome this year is staying in motion. It just hit me a couple weeks ago. One of the biggest factors I have still currently working against me is something that I also rely on- my mode of transportation. 2017 was my first entire year behind the wheel in my whole life. When I lived in the city I did a LOT of walking. I had to, I didn't drive. Now that I live in the country and work a job that requires a lot of tools, driving is essential.

Not only that, but the shift in my career path definitely affected my daily step count. I went from commercial landscaping [practically jogging whilst pushing a mower for 6+ hours of my day], to working with sharp sheet metal [which you don't want to move quickly with], and standing on a ladder for more than half of my day. Running the machines took it's toll on my wrists and elbow, which was one of many reasons I had to make the switch. Gardening, however, is a good workout [and yoga session!] for me, which I get to do at home.

Between those two major changes, I walk maybe a quarter of the distance daily that I did most days in the past. I went from my Fitbit telling me I've taken 35-40,000 steps a day without noticing, to struggling to find the time to get in ten thousand steps. Of course I stopped using my Fitbit one day, and kind of forgot about it for a year or two. I had no place to plug it in for quite some time, and had more things on my mind than how many steps I got in a day.

All the weight I gained from all the things I did [and didn't] led up to "the moment". I had a funeral to go to early in the month [for someone who died of a heart attack at 39], and I realized I no longer [by FAR] fit into my "fancy pants". And that realization led to my next dilemma.. if my fancy pants don't fit, then neither do my waders.

The last time I wore my waders was a few months ago, around the time I twisted my ankle. I hadn't worn them since because my swollen ankle wouldn't fit into my wading boots, and now my arse doesn't fit where it needs to go either. No waders means no river hiking... which is a million more points against me. *sigh*. This weight has got to go.

I'm in it for the long haul here. When I lost an abundance of weight a few years ago, I did so pretty quickly. I lost [on average] two pounds a week for almost a year. Needless to say, it didn't work out for me in the end. I'm right back where I was. This time, so far, I've lost roughly a half a pound a week. It's grueling at times waiting for my pants to fit, but I feel better about the slower transition into a healthier diet. Now all I need in my strength.



Well, that's my rant for the day, and this is where I'm at. Thank you for reading, your encouragement and for helping me stay accountable. And if you're facing the struggle to find your own health, don't forget I'm here for you too.

xo

2018- making it my year

When I started this blog 5 years ago, I was sick, tired and overweight. It took a year to figure out what my body needs to not only survive but thrive, and then another year to make it happen. I worked out a diet and exercise plan, and by the end of 2014 I had lost 70 pounds. After being in BC for a year I fell upon some hard times, and into a deep depression. I managed my way out of it eventually, but had slowly startd to regain the weight.

In 2016, I was on my own and homeless. When a close friend passed away in June, I flew home and almost stayed, but I met my now life partner when I returned to BC to pack up shop. By the time we met I had more or less given up on maintaining my health, I was more focused on staying alive and trying to find a place to live. Working full time and sleeping outside meant more fast food than I'm willing to admit, no proper sleep, and boat loads of unavoidable stress.

By the time we had found a place to live, the damage was done. We've been in our home almost a year now, and instead of focusing on my health as I had planned to, I was more focused on maintaining steady work, and grasping at anything to keep this place up and running. The huge veggie garden and remote location meant more fresh food and far less junk, but I was still overloaded with stress a majority of the time, and made no time for myself.

It's a new year, and I want to make it the best one yet. I'm still unsure of my work situation and beyond broke, but I want to make the best of what I have access to. More work will come, but in the meantime I can't let my current situation stress me to death. I swear it, stress is 90% of why I'm sick and gaining weight.

Ironically this past week we've been locked into any ice age, literally.. the two cities nearest to us have been without power, roads closed due to fallen trees and downed power lines, and we spent a couple nights heating the house by generator. Obviously juicing or smoothies or buying fresh produce was out of the question, so I had to focus on what I could do in the moment. Reduce stress, and plan ahead.

This past 5 years I have learned a lot. I'm armed with the knowledge I've accumulated, including knowing from experience that better health and weight loss is possible despite my autoimmune issues. I started 2018 off right this morning with a vegan protein smoothie, a peppermint tea and a freshly charged fitbit.

Bring it 2018... I'm ready to make a life-long commitment to my health and well being!

Starting Over.

I look back over this blog that I [thankfully] kept, and I just shake my head. I mean, I'm glad I kept the blog, I'm just utterly disappointed in myself for letting go. I did so well for so long, even after my mother passed away. And here I am, eating crap food, sick all the time, almost back to my heaviest weight, and smoking. YEP.

The past couple years has been a rough ride. I wouldn't necessarily take any of it back, I've learned a lot about myself, but I let myself go in the process. I've been struggling with my mental health, with my sense of self worth, and with my highly addictive personality. All those things combined when not managed can be a recipe for disaster.

I NEED to get back on track before I can't anymore. The time is now. Should have been yesterday, but now is all I've got.

...

Two months later...

I've managed to almost completely quit smoking. I went from a pack or more a day to two or three cigarettes. I was able to make it a couple days without having a single one, then I let the stress get the best of me. I still haven't bought a pack in over a week.

My juice press is sitting assembled and ready to go on the dining room table. I've even used it a couple times this week. The nutribullet has seen fairly consistent action for my breakfast smoothies, but just about every meal has been (delicious, but) an assault on my insides. My digestive system has been in revolt for a few months now, but the stress and anxiety I've been dealing with was my huge excuse not to give a shit.

Oh, and I bought a scale. It's been a long time since I've stepped on one, and I nearly cried. Weight wise I'm pretty much right back to my heaviest. At least I still kinda fit in my jeans. Kinda. My weight is a good tell of how bad my insides are getting. The worse they are, the more I retain. If I don't get back up on it, I'm gonna get very sick very quick.

I'm worried that it won't be as 'easy' as it was last time to get into a routine. I'm a little nervous that maybe it will be much harder to lose the weight as I get older. I'm kinda scared that it might be too late. But that doesn't mean I'm not going to try.

There's a produce store in the nearest town that happens to be on my way home from work, no matter what city I'm working in. I have to pass it to get home. There's a vape place in the plaza next to that. I have no excuses to smoke or not eat the way that I should. There's a big-ass garden planted beside my house that in a couple months will be so abundant I won't know what to do with it all.

I don't need junk. I don't need sugary snacks or pizza. I don't need sammies every day for lunch, or meat at dinner. I don't need salty greasy fried things to be happy. I don't need to smoke to feel alright.

This is it. The beginning of the rest of my life. And I'd rather live in health than in sickness.

things falling apart.

okay. alright... so the last time i hit this blog was in december of 2014, about six months after my life started falling apart. i promised i wouldn't let it all get to me, and i called myself out for slipping. here i am again, starting over. not right from scratch, i'm certainly not back to the state of dis-ease i was in back in 2012/13. but if i keep on this path i'll be back there in no time. i can feel unpleasant things unraveling inside me. and the weight is a sure sign of the sickness, my body always does a good job of showing me on the outside when shit just ain't right within.

so, where am i at? i'm not entirely sure to be honest. i lost my scale on one of the several moves the past year and a half. my jeans do not fit me arse. my guts aren't working right. my hip has been mildly disjointed for quite a few weeks now and it's getting uncomfortable. i have a doc's appointment tomorrow to find out what's all up with my thyroid function, and hopefully get on my way to seeing some specialists about some things. i haven't really managed to stay put anywhere for very long since i moved west a couple years ago, and i think that has had a huge impact on my ability to maintain my physical health. i get frustrated when i'm on the move trying to accommodate to uppity diet restrictions and fitness routines. which shouldn't actually be as much a problem as it is, but unfortunately our society gives zero fucks about what it consumes and how it lives so i'm far too often left to choose the lesser of various evils when it comes to eating. things are changing in that realm, very slowly, but it's happening.

for the most part, this blog has been reserved for keeping track of my physical health, and i haven't made much mention of the mental side of things. if you already know me, you know that mental health issues a] run in my family, and b] have been a part of my every day life since i was a wee one. my mental health i have been less willing to address medically, mostly because of my blatant lack of trust in western medicine, especially regarding these kinds of things. brain chemistry isn't something that i like the idea of messing with. but, it's a thing. and another aspect of my health that i have to take responsibility for. i will admit, when i was doing all that i could physically to support this vessel, i was doing far better mentally than i ever was in my past, and i know that by addressing one side of things it will help the other. this time though i have to take a sort of backwards approach to find the mental motivation to take better care of myself physically.

so i gotta start where i'm at with what i've got. i have a steady place to stay right now which is rad. makes sleep and cooking and hygiene much more of a thing. i have my nutribullet smoothie machine, a hand crank masticating juicer i gotta pull out of storage, some space to do some stretches, and a produce market store right across the street. i gotta reset my system, ease in as to not go into shock and fall over. i have to find the right amount of calories for what i do for a living without eating anything that hurts. the way i did this last time was start swapping out components for cleaner options and figure out how much of that food is needed to make it up. i need a lot of calories especially in the colder months, and decent hydration. oh, and i have this blog. sooo thankful i kept track of things. i know i can do this again, and better.

one thing that i don't have and wish i did, is the garden space. i was spoiled back home with a quarter acre to do with what i pleased, and it turned to a sweet little camp surrounded by epic food gardens. the produce was abundant and delicious sun fresh. i am grateful to have access to a wee balcony, which my flat mate and i are attempting to turn into a mini food jungle.

oh ya! and how many times have i quit smoking now? like 6? haha. i'm kind of that path again, i've been smoking on the weekends and vaping during the week for a month or so. i'm just about ready to drop the cigs completely. i feel kinda strange about replacing them with a vape instead of going cold turkey, but i know myself and the act of smoking is just as addictive as the nicotine. for now at least, i need that thing to do. with that little bit of nicotine in the juice.

...

my challenge for 2016 is still a health challenge, just one without numbers. i don't have a weight loss goal [although i'll certainly lose some], i'm not as concerned about inches, i'll know i'm there when my clothes fit again. there's that little black dress.. [not even shitting, i own but one 'dress', it's black, and rad, and i will get into it again].

i just want to feel better. i want my guts to stop hurting. and bleeding. and my joints to hold together right. and my head not to hurt all the bloody time. and my hip.. i want to be able to climb a hill and take a breath at the top of it. be a part of the world around me and fully enjoy it without some sort of stabbing/throbbing/annoying pain. and have the energy to get excited about it! and feel like i deserve it, i suppose that's key. i just want to be me.

so that's what i'm gonna do. one step, two...

it's over due.

xo

time to Thrive.

as of yesterday afternoon, i am officially retired from my full-time job as a retail supervisor. i have decided that in order to better my health and my life, i must take the time to make my well-being my 'full time job'. for the next thirty days, no excuses, no slip-ups, no cheating. lots of exercise, proper rest, and healthy clean eating. learning, too.

after the first few weeks, i take the show on the road. i'll be travelling to the west coast where there is a presence in the 'wellness industry' to learn more about becoming a health coach, and continue on my own personal journey towards better health and fitness. there's a lot of work ahead of me, and some honest dedication. i've come this far already, there's no turning back!

thanks to everyone who has been following my journey so far, your words of encouragement come with loads of support. i'm confident that i can not only succeed at my goals of losing weight, gaining health and building a more healthy and sustainable lifestyle, but also one day help others succeed too.

if you're interested in following my journey through all the ups and downs and delicious details, check out my page at facebook.com/SageThriveChallenge. help me achieve my goals just by following! thanks again:)

Retirement.

after weeks of being stuck in the same place regardless of my efforts, i had come to realize that nutrition wise, i have done all that i can to improve my physical health. but i'm still 'not there' yet. i feel better, but not my best. there's still a stress that has been weighing me down.

the next step is to look deeper into my lifestyle, my environments and my habits. i'm very anxious lately, as i tend to become when i'm overburdened with belongings, expenses and unhealthy habits. i've had to rethink what is important to me right now. for a while i needed money to fulfill the lifestyle choices i had made. for now, it's time i crave.

i'm certainly not giving up on my healthy diet choices, and i've been putting more effort into being conscious of everything i eat, and my portions. people [myself included] seem to eat more than needed to operate. in fact, the over eating seems to slow me down. i function better when consuming smaller portions yet more often than just a few times a day. overall i eat less than what the typical north american diet would consider three meals, but i try to eat as nutrient dense foods as i can, and stay well hydrated.

reverting back to my classic mode of transience, more or less living out of a rucksack, will free me of much of the stress that i have been dealing with the last while. there will be other stresses of course, the kinds that are needed to be effective in my decisions and actions, not the consistent repetative ones that never change regardless of any efforts made. after a while those kinds of stresses become too overwhelming to deal with, and i must take a break.

it's time to explore my options. i'm breaking out of my current lifestyle to experience other ways of living across my home country. the diversity of climate and culture here alone is an adventure of experiences and lessons i'm looking forward to. i'm not sure how long i'll be on the move, i suppose as long as it takes.

be the change, drink the juice.

something strange is happening.. more like something awesome! this challenge has become more than just my own. i started this blog in january of 2013 with the idea that publicly noting my journey to find health would keep me on track. well, it's working. i can honestly say that after everything i've tried, triumphs and defeats, i may have given up long ago if i didn't make a point of sharing it all.

 it hasn't been an easy journey, that's the truth. but it's getting better. the reality is, there isn't a magic pill or quick diet or cleanse that will fix all of my problems or lose all of my extra pounds. it takes a lifestyle change, an attitude alteration, and dedication to finding true health. i wasn't always the most motivated person in the world, nor the best educated on the subject of nutrition. after a year and a half of reading, researching, and trying different things, i am finally on the right path to what works best for me.

now back to the challenge. people around me are starting to notice a difference.. maybe even more than i have seen in myself. i've lost 18 pounds since the beginning of 2014, and i have a lot more energy [and a lot less tummy aches] than ever. naturally, people want to know what i'm doing and they want to try too.

for quite some time now, i've known what i needed to do. but i always had excuses like i'm too broke to eat well, or i don't have time or any means to prepare a decent meal. when really i could have been prioritizing my money [and my time] better, and being more resourceful with the tools i had available to me. i have less of a 'kitchen' now than i ever have in an established dwelling, yet i prepare [and grow!] more of my own food these days than i have my whole life. and by prepare i don't mean pop a microwave dinner in the nuke or boil up some KD, i mean using fresh ingredients from scratch.

a couple years ago i started collecting things to jumpstart into a more healthy lifestyle like a juicer and a blender and planted a garden in the yard. after a few months the juicer became too much of a hassle, the blender lost it's appeal, and the garden didn't fair so well. this cycle repeated for a few years, each year saw improvements.

finally something clicked inside of me. i decided it was time to take responsibility for my self and my own health. i do have a choice in the matter, i can choose to live a healthier lifestyle, or i can choose to keep putting it off and slowly accumulate various health discomforts. today, i choose health. and yesterday, and hopefully a bunch of tomorrows too.

early in the year i blew the dust off the juicer and got right back into it. i fed my mind with all of the information about the benefits of juicing raw vegetables, and the idea became more appealing. eventually the vegetables that once tasted bitter to me juiced have mellowed out. cucumber simply tastes like freshness now, and celery is barely noticeable beside the hint of ginger and lime. this time around, instead of jumping right into hardcore veggie juicing, i started with the apples and added in the veg. now the only fruit i use is an apple or two and a bit of lemon lime to zest it up and keep it fresh.

every day in the lunch room, someone asks what i'm drinking. and i tell them! some are grossed out at the idea of pressed veggies, some are intrigued, and some even ask for a taste. this keeps me conscious every morning when i'm packing my lunch bag what i'm going to take.. am i making healthy choices? can i really make it to first break without my super smoothie? i know i don't feel like making juice right now [five in the morning], but do i really want to go all day without it? nah. i might be tired some days [not all days anymore] but i know it's worth it to do this for myself. it makes me feel better. and every week or so, the scale moves a notch towards my goal.

it's starting to catch on.

people that i work with are picking up on these healthy habits, and trying them on for size. even my parents who in recent years were more health savvy than i, have taken interest in this juicy new facet of my life. i love hearing the reports on others' juicing and nutribullet-ing adventures. especially the parts where they notice a positive change in their health, and on the scale. it's nice to have friends to take this journey with me, the more the merrier. if i can inspire others to be more conscious of their own health by drinking a big ol' jar of juice every day, then it's already too good to stop.

be the change... drink the juice!

the scale

it's an important tool when on a journey to better health, i find. i never used to care about the numbers, but without some way to measure it's hard to see results. last year i'd used our roommates scale for the first half, then after we moved we went the second half of the year without one. i suppose i felt a little lost because i couldn't tell if i was making a difference, so i finally caved and picked one up at the start of the year.

i spent a majority of my late teens and early twenties wandering around with a rucksack, stopping from time to time to inhabit random dwellings but i never stayed for long. when i was kept busy getting up before sunrise and constantly on the move, my weight was pretty average. i settled into the domesticated life when i came back to town and started working full time night shift. i gained weight quickly, having hashimoto's didn't help my cause. after a couple years i had gone from 150 [which i already thought was heavy] to over 180. i stopped looking.. my heaviest weight was 213 pounds by the start of 2012. oh, i'm 5'5", just in case you were wondering. i'd never had the nerve to take a picture of the scale back then, i was in denial that my weight was out of control.

by sheer force i managed to lose ten pounds, but it took me a year to do it. i leveled out at 205 which stayed my average weight for another year. at the beginning of 2013 i started this blog, and my search for the 'perfect diet and exercise' regime that would help me lose weight. i lost a few pounds here and there, i think i'd lost about ten pounds total [all of which i gained back], but at least i'd gained hope that it is possible to make the numbers go in the other direction.

when i stepped on the scale today, i was half expecting my numbers to have gone up a couple notches for having 'fallen off the wagon' a few days ago and had a veggie burger combo, and the next day a small order of fries. i'd kept up with the juicing and other healthy inputs of course, but still.. i was totally shocked when i looked down. i really couldn't believe it, i had to reset the scale a few times and rub my eyes to make sure everything was working right.

189.6! i can't even remember the last time i saw a number under 190. i know it's just a pound less than the last time i mentioned my weight, but it still seems so surreal! i suppose i didn't want to get my hopes up on bringing my weight down, and it was super extra satisfying to know i made it under my next expected plateau. i mean, it could still be one, but i'm staying positive. hard work and dedication and self-education truly does pay off. until next time.... yay!

sick day.

i never call in sick. ever. but i did.. it was.. interesting. yay fever...


so here's what happened. everyone at work was getting sick. i just had to go and say it.. "i'm not worried, i never get sick!". and that has been mostly true. i believe that it has a lot to do with the fact that i have been juicing and consuming 3-4 quarts of freshly juiced vegetables and citrus every day for a few weeks. i had started juicing daily at the beginning of the year, but as soon as all the flu bugs started going around, i doubled up. i had made it through my entire team at work [and my boyfriend] getting sick twice so far this year. i thought i had it beat.

til early thursday morning... the power went out. i couldn't make my juice, or my power packed mean green breakfast smoothie. i ate a banana, which is about all the solid food i can stomach that early in the morning, and walked to work in the dark. i did my best not to panic, but i knew i was walking into a battlefield unshielded. i'm positive i had already picked up the bug, but had remained unaffected because of the daily bombardment of pro-healthy goodness.

i made it through my workday somehow, i was tired within the first couple hours. i usually would have had plenty of energy from my daily breakfast smoothie.. and of course, i felt very hungry. my joints were swelling already. i had learned from various sources that fresh celery juice was good for joint pain. i guess i hadn't realized how well it was working until i suddenly didn't have it in me. i was in slow motion all day. i couldn't concentrate, and all i wanted to do was faceplant into my bed.

as soon as i got home [and the power was finally restored] i made an emergency batch of fresh orange and apple juice with a double dose of ginger. i slammed it. i was already horribly exhausted, so in an attempt to beat the bug i went to bed early so that my body might have a fighting chance against it. 1am rolled around, and i was awoken by the heat of my own fever. dang. i tried to go back to sleep, but it was no use. by 4am i was calling work, pounding head, fever, aches and chills... the sick finally got me.

i really, really hate getting sick. and i hate missing work.. but knowing that i was already compromised and now weakened, i felt it best to stay home and deal with it right away rather than prolong the suffering. it's not all bad though, i learned a very important lesson; patience.

what does patience have to do with anything?? well..

everything.

i've been spending the past fifteen months learning everything i can about having an autoimmune disease, and what i should be doing to overcome it. and sometimes it's hard to see any progress, especially when it comes to the weight loss and my overall energy. it wasn't until i suddenly lost access to the abundant nourishment that i've been using to help my body heal, that i realized it was doing anything at all. and having to spend a day without these wonderful nectars of life reminded me that changes don't just happen over night, and that i am doing so much to support my body's healing system. giving up at this point is not an option.

that being said... there is progress.

first of all, i did end up quitting smoking last year, which i believe is helping immensely. for everything overall. overcoming addictions isn't easy for anyone, and i have a history with addiction. i'm still amazed that i no longer have cravings, and am even most usually repulsed at the idea of smoking a cigarette. and then, there's my weight. having hashimoto's has made losing weight pretty well impossible my whole life. it was more subtle when i spent the majority of my time living, wandering and generally being outside, but the weight gain had hastened since becoming a full-time domesticated human. i went from gaining on average two pounds a year at that point in my life, to a whopping ten pounds a year. so in the past five years that i have been living a 'standard north american lifestyle', i'd put on fifty pounds. Fifty. Pounds.

by the time i had finally purchased a scale so that i could keep track of my progress, i was over two hundred. since i started paying exceptional attention to what i put into my body, i have lost ten of those pounds in the past ten weeks. it seems to me like a slow start, and it's hard to stay positive when i'm not seeing the difference so much yet, but it's happening. the numbers on the scale are no longer going in the direction of extreme obesity. yay me!

so about that sick day.. yeah, i'm still sick. but! not to the point of absolute bed ridden horror that Matt seems to go through when he gets sick. not so sick that i can't move for days like i used to get. i have the aches and my chest is on fire for the first couple hours that i'm awake, but i feel much better already than the day it hit me [yesterday]. i'm taming the fever, and i'm still able to get out for fresh air, and as long as i keep up with the juicing and lots of greens i should be ready to go back to work again on monday. but for now... relaxation.

back to the juicer

yea, i haven't posted in a while. i just wanted to put it out there.. i haven't given up. i do however have to take a break from checking the scale. again. it's certainly not as productive right now as keeping up with the numbers on my fitbit. after a few weeks of keeping tabs on my sleep and activity levels, it's given me some perspective on how to better sort my time.

for instance, i can track my sleep patterns. on overage, i'm 'restless' around 4am. it's pretty well pointless for me to try and go back to sleep once i've woken up, so i'm beginning to accept that is just simply my wake up time. so instead of staying up til eleven and setting an alarm for five, i've shifted my sleep schedule back an hour to get the most out of my energy. now instead of preparing all of my juice for the next day before bed, i can do so in the morning before i go to work. thankfully i work a steady shift which has really helped me to begin to get my health on track. and juice is better the day it's made anyway.

speaking of juice.. juicing is something that's really easy to be lazy about. the preparations, the clean up, not to mention the walk every second day to the grocery to get another load of produce.. but i've been managing to keep up with it. i have noticed that my tastes are beginning to change; celery isn't as bitter as it once was, and parsley isn't as weird in a juice as the first time i tried it. i'm finally adjusting to the sudden influx of raw veggie juice.

to make the whole process easier, i've kind of turned it into a ritual. one that is adaptable whenever i discover an easier or faster way to do something. it's taken me a couple months to figure out what works for me and what are the best things to include in my juice, so here's a basic outline.

first of all, i invested in a slow juicer. i had an 'express' juicer at first, but i find i get way more juice out of the cold press, and there's more options as to what i can put through it. that being said, my finished product makes about 4-4.5 pints [8 or 9 cups] which lasts me a whole day. i'm currently not juice fasting, but i'm still consuming mostly plant based whole foods in only necessary amounts to get enough fat and other nutrients that i can't get from the juice. otherwise, that amount of juice keeps me feeling full most of the day.

i have an hour and a half to get ready for work in the morning, and i have to leave my house around 6am to get there on time. by quarter to five, i'm gathering my juicer. the whole process- setup, prep, juicing and cleanup takes about 45 minutes.

first i juice the green 'base' veggies, celery and cucumber. one bunch and two whole ones respectively. this alone makes up almost a third of the juice. then i juice the lemon and ginger into that, and collect in a juice pitcher. i then juice a whole pineapple and add that to the pitcher. next a couple of apples/or asian pears, oranges, a lime, carrots, depending on what i have on hand and what is freshest at the market. i give it one good stir and then pour it out into four pint sized mason jars, leaving a little space in a couple of them for the 'boosts'. for these i use beet root as one, and dark leafy greens such as spinach or parsley as another. these and other sorts of things that have many health benefits but a strong/bitter taste i spare the rest of the batch from and keep them as a 'meal' of their own.

cleanup gets easier every time, once a 'ritual' is formed and refined it doesn't seem so daunting of a task. some may say that it's a lot of effort for some juice, but really i think quite the opposite. it's minimal 'effort' to absorb lots of nutrients and enzymes from raw, 'living' plant based foods that i'd certainly not be able to eat all in one day. in fact, my entire day would be steady munching to pack all of that goodness in! i didn't start out with this amount, maybe half and worked my way up.

some things that i have noticed: i started with roughly two quarts of juice a day at the beginning of the year, and i am telling you i haven't had so much as a sniffle since. i have seen my entire team at work, most of my friends, and my boyfriend [who i live with] through some nasty cold and flu viruses and i remain completely unaffected. this may be due to the outrageous amounts of actual, real true vitamin C [and everything else!] that i'm juicing from fresh produce. i would at least have one quart if i had to spread my supply, as a day without juice is a day without energy. i have recently upped my intake to double [so 4 quarts total per day], and in turn my insatiable appetite for all things horrible for me is easing off. food cravings aren't nearly as bad, and in fact processed foods taste different [not as good] to me now that i have had such an elevated intake of raw, real food.

so here's hoping that the next leg of this journey i'm on involves some real weight loss. i think my body is starting to realize that no, i'm not starving her.. and yeah, it's okay to let go of those extra pounds that were protecting my precious organs from all the 'dead food' i've been bombarding my body with over the years. you take what you can get, right? well now that i'm not living out of a backpack and have a steady income i have no excuses not to take better care of myself. here's to my health..

the difference..

since i did the three day juice fast, i have continued to drink fresh cold pressed vegetable and fruit juice daily, in addition to watching my calorie intake. i have noticed a couple things in this past week. first of all, i'd like to blame the juice for this.. i haven't been sick yet in 2014. there have been some horrible bugs going around, people on my team at work have been sick twice over so far, and i haven't gotten so much as a cough. i feel pretty confident that the constant influx of delicious vitamin and mineral rich juices is helping to support my immune system and keep me virus free.

juicing in the snow for my '24 hour challenge'

secondly, i've heard a few people say this.. don't watch the scale every single day it will freak you out and/or make you crazy. i totally agree. last month i was literally weighing myself daily, sometimes even twice a day. i was curious to see if there would be any changes, and at first the pounds came off quickly until i got down under two hundred. i may not be losing it as fast now, but the good news is, it's still coming off. this month on average so far i have lost a pound a week. that really isn't so bad.. if i were to continue at this rate i could lose 40 more pounds this year, and i wouldn't complain. the real difference here is that my trend of gaining roughly six pounds a year has finally changed due to a complete [and continual] overhaul of my lifestyle.

it has been a challenge to this point to get in more physical activity. it's been a long, cold, brutal winter.. even this time last year i had no problem running the trails, but this year the frigid temperatures have been a burden. i still see some people running, good on them. this temperature just isn't for me. on top of that, when it's that bloody cold i usually opt for a bus pass to get to work, but i didn't renew this month. i've started walking again [it's only average ten below instead of thirty], to work and back which adds 7 kilometers to my daily regime. i feel a lot better when i get to work, not as tired.. and i sleep better at night.

speaking of which, it's about time to get a move on. my gym finally opens this weekend, i have been literally counting the days. i can't wait to get in there and learn how to use the machines.time for work... bye for now!

tips and tricks to stay on track.

as i said in my last post, having the right attitude is key to changing my lifestyle. i've had to collect a few ideas to help me keep on a path to better health, as the journey isn't easy. here are a few things i'm doing to stay focused, maybe some of these tips will work for you!

1] tell someone about your goals [blog it!]
i think one of the best things i've done to keep myself focused was start this blog. not only so that i have something for myself to look back on, but to put myself out there and be 'public' about my challenge. i find that letting someone know that you've set a resolution or a goal for yourself ups your possibility of success. for myself i'm more likely to keep up on something if i let others know i'm doing it. lets take smoking for example..

i've been smoking off and on for years, and especially more so when i spent a couple of years on the night shift. i tried quitting on my own, and it didn't last for long. i tried quitting with my partner at that time, and as soon as they picked it up again so did i. when i got off the shift unfortunately i didn't leave the habit  behind, so in the fall of 2o12 i made it my goal to be smoke free by spring 2o13. i told everyone at work, and so.. i quit.. mostly. i'd still have one here and there, but after 'quitting' i could really feel the difference after having a smoke versus not having one. finally, in autumn of 2o13 i kicked the habit for good. i realized that the mild calming effect smoking had on me wasn't anywhere near worth the damage it was doing. i am slowly coming to the same point of realization with kicking the habit of eating processed foods.

2] write it down.
no matter what it is that i want to accomplish, i find i'm much more likely to achieve the goals that i have written down. seemingly even if i forget to look back over what i wrote until some time later, when i do find what i had written it seems it had already come true. as if the act of putting thoughts into words is the very first step of putting them into action.

i'm sort of using this blog to cover the first and second point, so that what i've written is accessible no matter where i am. not only do i like to write down what my ambitions are, but also my achievements. keeping track of things like how many reps or kilometers allows me to look back and see how i've improved. a big wall calendar can be handy for this. i just got one that i keep on the wall facing my bedroom door. i see it every morning when i walk out my door, which will help me to stick to my routine. something else that can help with all this..

3] there's an app for that!
yea, i gave in to the world of smartphones about a year ago, just so many functions and uses i couldn't resist any longer. there's a huge selection of smartphone apps that can help keep track of all of those things from caloric and nutrient intake, to exercise and distances covered. there's even types of bluetooth step counters the size of a little jump drive that tracks everything you do and when you do it, right down to your heart rate when you're asleep. i haven't quite jumped on that bandwagon yet, but it may be a future investment.

 right now i'm using an app that allows me to keep track of my intake [food, water etc] and my output [exercise, calories burned, time spent/distance traveled etc.] and it has a summary screen where i can view each day as a list. it's important to be honest here, because 'cheating' isn't hurting anyone but yourself. when i look back over my list for the day and i see something i don't like [maybe i had a few unhealthy snacks or didn't get enough exercise] then i can pinpoint what to focus on for the next day.

4] be prepared.
if it's worth it, chances are it ain't easy. but when it comes to building healthy habits, being prepared helps me to ease into a workout or preparing a batch of juice. to help with focusing on the workout i have dedicated a space in my apartment where the mat is always ready and my equipment is accessible. by doing so i'm more likely to make use of it instead of thinking "ahh dang everything i need right now is packed away" and procrastinating.

being prepared helps me in the kitchen too. juicing was hard for me to get into at first because of all the prep work involved. one thing that i have done to make it easier is keep my juicer in an accessible [and visible] location so that i don't have to dig for parts to get it set up. i keep all of the little bits for it in an easy to maneuver bucket that i can pull from bit by bit to assemble, and then put everything back in one piece at a time after when i take it apart and clean it. after a few times of assembly and dis-assembly, it's starting to become sort of a reflex and it doesn't take me nearly as long as it did when i started.

5] make it a mantra [and be grateful!]
i mentioned in the last point that juicing takes a lot of prep work, so to help me get through cutting up all that fruit and veg i have made it a mantra. first i gather and rinse everything that i want to use, and i assume a pose in front of the cutting board that is like 'mountain pose' which helps me focus on my posture. i then begin with say, the apples, half them, quarter them, slice out the core, done. and as i do this for each the motion becomes a meditation and each cut a part of a rhythm. i think to myself for each piece of food how grateful i am to have it to consume and improve my health. cut, breathe.. before i know it, everything is cut and ready to go!

this works with a lot of things, especially things that can seem daunting like getting into chores or organizing my belongings. i make a mantra out of seemingly menial tasks at work, focusing just as much on how i carry myself or bend or stretch when i'm moving about my job.

6] add in the goodness instead of restricting the 'bad'
i think one of the biggest reasons why people fail at attempting to lose weight or get in shape or change their lifestyle is the fact that they jump right in instead of easing in gradually. especially for changing eating habits.. it's a lot easier to start by simply adding better meal choices into your diet instead of thinking 'no i can't have all of these things, just that'. this actually works.. i'm in the process of perfecting my nutritional intake by means of this very method. eventually consuming so many good nutritious things starts to crowd out cravings for not-so-nutritious snacks.

in the beginning it's hard to imagine living a whole day without sugar or a chocolate bar or white bread or whatever, but as i started to add in the goodness i also started to lose my taste for processed foods. adding real nutrition may taste offish at first [ie fruit sugar versus refined sugar products] but once my body started to get used to what real sugars taste like, eating sugars in processed foods no longer tastes as irresistible as it once did. every once in a while i'll give in and have a snack that i know is totally horrible for me but from what i remember tastes amazing, i'll get half way through it and realize that it doesn't really taste as good as i remember. especially with bottled pasteurized juice, this rarely satisfies my thirst anymore, and leaves a bad taste in my mouth. i've even lost my taste for things i never thought i'd get over like salty pretzels [and other wheat products] and 'fake cheese products'.

7] find support.
this task has proven to be one of the more difficult ones for me, it's not always easy to reach out in a time of need but i believe that it is essential. many people hire personal trainers or a life coach to find the support they need, but not everyone [including myself] can afford that. it can be as easy as looking to a sibling or spouse or a good friend. having a mentor or just someone to talk to through such a transition can lighten the load. it's important to choose someone that has already gone down a similar path, and is willing to talk sense into you at points when you feel like giving up. i'm lucky enough to have a supportive partner who helps to keep me positive and even joins me in enjoying healthier food choices. and of course, there's always internet groups and online forums. finding a group of like-minded individuals working towards a common goal can be an immense amount of help.

8] act now.
procrastination has been at often times my worst enemy. i'm the type of person that will over analyze everything to bits and just sit there trying to figure out if something is good for me instead of just giving it a try. i think i waited a good few months between thinking running might be a good idea, and actually starting to run. i wish i would have just given it a try as soon as it came to mind, but it now serves as a lesson.

when it comes to improving my health, doing something is absolutely better than doing nothing. there shouldn't be at any point in my life a time where i can complain of being 'bored', and i have made a point of it. now whenever i'm sitting idle i think to myself, what could i be doing right now to improve the quality of my life or overall health? within a few moments ideas will appear. well, i could pop in that yoga dvd and stretch it out for an hour, or maybe organize my seed collection and start picking things i want to grow, or maybe just put on my headphones and go for a brisk walk. things like that. there's always lots to be done.

9] make it a hobby and have fun.
working towards better health doesn't have to be gruelling, which i suppose is the overall idea for this blog. instead of viewing exercise or preparing healthy foods as a chore, i view working towards better health as more of a 'hobby' to keep me interested. i found myself nerding out in a conversation about juicers at work today, and when i realized what was happening it made me smile. i now get excited over things like finding more nutrient packed 'superfoods' or discovering a new yoga position that relieves pressure off an achy joint. it's almost like playing a video game, leveling up, collecting health and building strength, only yknow.. in real life! my life!

10] challenge yourself.
when i started running, i could only go 7km tops in a day. by the time i'd dropped it due to joint issues i was pushing out nearly 20k on my runs.. i'd push myself a little further each day. i never saw myself as a runner, not even for a jog around the block. it's just never appealed to me, i much preferred a good climb up a steep escarpment trail. i shocked myself the first time i ran right into the next town, i smiled for days at the achievement. and it all started when i started this blog a year ago, the Sage Thrive Challenge. i wanted to do something new and truly challenge myself. without a good challenge there can be no true progress.

11]be adventurous!
and never say never. it can be a challenge in itself to keep an open mind about my health, and we are often taught that if it isn't a pill then it won't fix you. truth is, our bodies are capable of healing themselves and function optimally when they have what they need, and aren't being constantly toxified and stressed. so our mission is to figure out what those things are, and apply the knowledge. mild food sensitivities can cause a ton of different uncomfortable symptoms which are then treated with medicines we don't really need. everyone's body is unique and it's up to us as individuals to figure it out. this may result in a need for an all-out lifestyle change, but with an open mind and a sense of adventure, it can actually be fun!

well that's all i've collected for now, and it even took me a few days to write it all out. i'm sure as i go along the list will change and grow. on a side note, as a new challenge i signed up for a gym for the first time in my life... pre-opening rates, 4 weeks till it opens. so excited!!!