It's been a crazy year. Not just for me, for everyone. It would be me to suffer an entire health crisis during a global pandemic. I was forced to stay home and figure it out for 9 months of 2020. It took me a while to stop stressing so hard about the whole situation and just... utilise this blessing of "free time". When that finally happened, I was able to begin observing the patterns of my symptoms, the causes and effects and even a glimpse on how to mitigate them a little.
It's been a couple years since I hit this blog. The downward spiral I was alluding to fully took over. I called myself out a long time ago, yet prolonged finding the help I really needed until it became the kind of help that's impossible to find because the world's collective suffering is affecting the whole program.
I managed not to stray too far from the path though. Reading back I can see that despite the shitshow these past two years have been, I managed to somehow maintain the small bits of progress I'd made. I got stuck. Again. And just as predicted, the older I get, the more challenging it is to find the motivation and energy to stay focused and do the work.
I'm down 23ish pounds from my highest weight. My current average weight is 196.5lbs, and my goal is still that same ol' 165. I have been ever so very slowly chipping away at these pounds. As agonizing as it's felt, it's still miles better than gaining half a pound a month. That's my inevitable reality if I don't focus on supporting my health. As I mentioned a few times in this blog, my weight is always an accurate reflection of the state of my internal (mental and physical) health. If I'm heavy, there's something wrong. If I'm obese, I'm probably in danger.
The journey continues.. this time I'm hitting record. I decided to start a YouTube channel to keep myself accountable, and hopefully record progress. I'm not sure what else I hope to achieve besides that, but if I'm successful then my journey could potentially motivate someone else to take their health into their own hands.
If you're reading this, thank you. Thanks for sticking by me through this journey and cheering me on. Thanks for having faith in me when I wasn't sure of myself. And thanks for hitting that subscribe button! I hope I do us both proud.
