Plateau Woes

I'm stuck!

After almost two years of steady gaining weight, I managed to turn the trend around and start losing. I maxed out at 223 lbs, and I've lost thirteen so far bringing me down to 210. A month ago.. and this is where I've been stuck ever since.

Don't get me wrong, I'm glad that I was able to break the gaining trend. I'm ecstatic that I started to lose pounds, I can even feel that my jeans are a little looser, and that's always nice. But I've hit my first plateau a lot sooner than I did the first time around, and I've been stuck here a lot longer. It's frustrating.

I know that a big part of my 'problem' is stress. Emotional stress is a big one, especially when it comes to my current financial situation. For the past year I've been a subcontractor which is always 'iffy' when it comes to timing of pay, and the year before that I wasn't in the best situation living wise. It's not easy to maintain your health when you're working two jobs and sleeping outside. These two things compiled into being stuck in a state of almost constant stress, and holding weight is the number one physical and metabolic reaction my body has to stress.

The housing issue thankfully was solved when we found this house. Our financial situation though has yet to improve, but there is light at the end of the tunnel. All year I gave my 'boss' the benefit of the doubt that things would change and our pays would be more consistent, so that I could afford my vegan supplements and the more costly higher quality nutrient dense foods and beverages that my body needs. Things seemed to improve a bit last summer, and then went for a complete nosedive in the fall.

I had to fire my boss, and there's bound to be a pay gap in my already broke situation, but I feel the weight lifting off my shoulders already just knowing that there's an end in sight. Hopefully this will be the stress relief I need to get myself back on track mentally, and I'll finally get paid like a real person so that I can afford my nutritional needs.

*sigh*

The third stress is a seasonal one. I always tend to gain a little over the winter, and it's definitely the hardest time of year to get any weight off which is why I'm glad I managed to get anywhere at all. This winter has decided it's not quite ready to be over yet, and the cold and rain and hail is a little discouraging when it comes to getting anything done outside. We've had a few nice days here and there, but between freezing my arse off at work all day and the cold wind, I haven't been going for many walks.

Nutrition wise, I was doing alright until I ran straight out of money. I decided to try intermittent juice fasting which was working very well for me. One might think that something involving 'fasting' would be cheaper overall, but given that it's winter and we have nothing freshly growing at the moment, this is not the case. I was spending roughly 15-20 bucks per day on absolutely everything that I was consuming if you factor in the produce and supplements in my morning smoothie, my fresh plant based lunch, and my juice for dinner. Now that's actually pretty cheap given how nutrient dense all of my meals were [WAY cheaper than buying lunch/morning coffee etc], but when you have no money coming in, it's just not feasible.Garden season can't come soon enough.

This is where I'm at, and though I'm a little stuck, I'm not giving up. I just need an extra minute and a chance to power through. Thanks for reading, and your ongoing support! My mission to gain my health back this year will be fulfilled.

have a happy healthy day, stay blessed!

The [gravity] struggle

It's difficult sometimes to explain to someone who has never had weight challenges, what it feels like to be overweight. My loving, amazing partner comes from a family of eaters, most of which are also overweight. He tells me all the time that my weight doesn't matter, it's what's on the inside that counts. But what he forgets is how all that weight makes me feel on the inside.

...

Stress and depression are the two main factors in weight gain for me. If I land myself in a very stressful situation, my body retains fat. It's a defense mechanism of being in 'survival mode'. When I suddenly became homeless 2 and a half years ago [again] it was unexpected, and it put a lot of stress on my mind and body. I slowly started to retain the weight.

I remained in survival mode for so long it became difficult to switch it off. I kept gaining the weight even after finding a home, which stressed me out even more. I'd eat to numb the stress, which made me gain more weight. And the vicious cycle throws me into a landslide.

...

So back to my point. In the past two and a half years, I've gained 60 pounds. This put me well over 200 pounds, which some people find hard to believe.

I went ladder shopping for work, and a fella tried to sell me a cheaper ladder that was on sale for a third of the price of the one I was looking at, but I nearly exceeded the weight limit. When I pointed to the sticker and said I needed a stronger ladder, he looked me up and down and said, "is the ladder for yourself?" ... yes. Yes and I nearly exceed the limit on this ladder.

He told me if that's so, I certainly carry it well. I'm told that all the time when people hear what I weigh. Including my doctor. The fact that I don't look like I weigh over 200, or that I "carry it well" doesn't really matter. What matters is that I'm still carrying it!

Imagine walking into a grocery store, and you don't get a shopping cart. The first thing you go for is a 10lb bag of potatoes. Now you walk around with that bag for quite some time, and go back and slowly pick up 5 more. You can never put them down.

Those 6 ten pound bags of potatoes are now putting extra pressure on your feet.. on your ankles and knees. One of those bags lives on your chest, making it hard to breathe when you're trying to sleep. They're getting in the way of performing everyday activities. Carrying all that extra weight causes a lot of pain and discomfort over time, and does damage of it's own.

When I explained this to my wonderful, supportive, rail thin partner, he finally got what I was talking about. Now he really understands why I'm being so adamant about dropping the weight, why my feet always hurt and I'm exhausted after work. And ultimately why being so overweight makes me depressed and uncomfortable.

I'm so thankful that he's on board 100% with helping me lose the weight. For the first year that we've lived here and worked the same schedule, we would come home and he'd do any general maintenance on the yard or house our vehicle while I prepared dinner. But it was always a dinner "for him" that I would end up eating too.

The past week or so I have been juicing for dinner, and it takes time and prep and cleanup, and he's had no issues cooking the "real meals" while I make my batch of juice. He knows that I love cooking for him, but until I master my new healthy routine, he might have to do the cooking for a while. And he's quite alright with that.

He can see that it's paying off. In the past 3 weeks of eating cleaner and adding the juice, I've almost put down one full bag of those potatoes. I feel a little better already. My knees are thanking me (and it's a little easier to do up my pants!).

This is just the beginning. I have 5.2 bags of potatoes left to get rid of, and I'm getting there. Thanks again for reading, and for your love and support. And remember, if you're on a similar journey and you need a little motivation, I'm here for you too!


xo

21 months in - the journey

it's been a long one, and it's not over. i'd usually do this 'review' process around the end of the year to see where i'm at, but now is a better time. i've certainly come to the end of something. i have finally come to the end of being in the 'obese' range on most conventional BMI charts that compare height to weight. at 5'5 and 215lbs my BMI was around 35, and now i'm down to 173 which put me around 28. of course these charts don't know that i have more muscle than the average female my height/weight, so a proper BMI measurement at some point may be helpful. i'm still overweight, but not obese. says these charts. and that's something.

i've struggled with my weight for many years. when i was ten i was diagnosed with hashimoto's thyroiditis. for years my energy and weight would fluctuate, i would spend months at a time absolutely exhausted yet unable to sleep. no matter my efforts diet wise, it didn't seem to matter. i steadily gained weight, roughly 8 pounds a year since high school. being 'fat' never bothered me, but feeling unhealthy does. the last twenty pounds i gained i could really feel. it gets harder to walk, to bend, to move, to work... i was getting in the way of myself, and tiring myself out just carrying the extra me around. not to mention what goes on inside when carrying extra pounds...

insult to injury
long since my underyling health issues fully developed including digestive issues i've been living with since around the same age, i had done some of my own additional damage. pills, alcohol, cigarettes, caffeine, poor food choices, sugar, salt... the list goes on. there was a good number of years that i didn't much care about the state of my well-being, and i think most of us have been there. but not everyone recovers. i hope to recover.

the time had finally come where i felt motivated to do something about it. to take responsibility for my own health and well being, knowing no one else can do it for me. western medicine had no solutions, conventional dieting and exercise only served me temporarily. i had to make a change in my attitude towards myself and my health, and i had to make some real lasting lifestyle changes. but first i had to accept that i got myself into this mess, even if blindly i got here myself.. and i can and do have the power to dig myself out.

time to change
at the end of 2012 i made a resolution, and i made it publicly. i announced that i would do what it takes to find better health, and lose the weight. i started this blog to keep track of my progress, but also to keep me accountable. as soon as i started posting, people engaged in conversations about my proposed journey. people i would have never expected to read my blog started talking to me at work about how i was doing. this alone gave me tons of motivation not to give up, everyone is watching and cheering me on.

by the end of 2013 i had tried everything from running, to diet plans, to various meal replacement and weight loss products only to see temporary results. i did yoga, pilates [which are both great by the way, if you stick with them!], various 30, 60 and 90 day challenges, even that green coffee bean stuff. each thing did have an effect, but only short term. by the end of the year i was right back where i started weight wise, but much more informed. i learned that above all diet was key, before exercise routines and gym memberships, i had to start with what i'm made of, what i eat.

i had learned something precious. there are products and programs out there that do work, some that don't. many offer a 'boost' in the right direction, but without diligent maintenance it's easy to fall off. i finally found something that i wish i had found in the beginning, but at the same time i'm glad that i hadn't tried it right away as i wouldn't have known the true value when it comes to cost, quality and effort involved. before i get into that, i'll write a little more about finding my own path.

life's unexpected challenges
things happen that make you think.. unfortunate things mostly, like losing someone close to you. my cousin was only 32 when she lost the fight with cancer in March of this year. my mother was only 55 when she passed in May after spending the last twenty years of her life on disability. both of their lives were very much in the hands of western medicine, neither had much of a chance. it's hard to get your mind around things like that. it's difficult sometimes to continue searching for better health when it seems so impossible. headed down the same path health wise it really made think, what is wrong here? what are we doing to ourselves? i feel like now more than ever i must think 'outside the box'. i decided to start doing my own research.

self education
we have an infinite supply of information available to us every day instantly, and a lot of the time for 'free'. it takes a little sifting, common sense and citation but self education is completely possible and recommended. if you don't have any idea where to start looking, there's at least a couple dozen good 'food docs' out there these days that showcase the awesome power of food. there are two good ones to start with, Food Matters, and Hungry for Change. watch either or both and look further into the stories of the people shared and you will find leads to endless information.

beyond food documentaries i have also picked up many texts about nutrition and researched some of the fundamentals of nutritional science. what do we need to survive? to thrive? i've asked these questions before, only now i'm finding answers. and i've also found that everyone is unique and what works for some won't work for others, but overall the more raw vegetables fruits and foods included in my diet, the better i feel. juicing is an absolutely amazing discovery which helped to really kickstart my journey to better health.

making the changes
i learned the hard way... start slow. trying to change everything at once is simply too overwhelming which increases the chance of failure. for me anyways.. i've heard [and read] the same from others who have been successful in changing their routine and building healthy habits. i started by adding good things to my diet, ultimately crowding out foods that aren't as good for me and have less or no nutritional value. after eating good foods that aren't saturated in processed oils and salt and sugar, now if i reach for these things they just don't taste as good as i remember.

incorporating more exercise into my lifestyle was more of a challenge than i thought. a part of my struggle being that i was already living a reasonably active lifestyle, it seemed daunting to attempt to add more physical activity. the first thing i did was invest in one of my now favourite tecky little gadgets, the fitbit. now i know exactly how active i am and when, and i can see when i haven't been very active and challenge myself to get up and do something. it's better than an app that requires you to always have your phone on you, as it's tiny and discreet and the charge on the battery lasts about a week. i still use it to this day.

the first few months of 2014 i did little more than replace breakfast with smoothies and fresh pressed juice, and keep track of my steps making sure to get a little extra walk or jog in if i didn't meet my goal. i'd hit the gym a few times a week to make use of the machines. i noticed that on days i had made a juice i felt a lot more energy and didn't need a nap half way through my day. i was losing roughly one pound per week, which is substantial! i've more or less kept that rate up, as i'm 37 pounds lighter than i was in January.

as time went on making better food choices was reflexive. on the days i'd laze out and grab a quick snack, i'd feel it in my guts within the hour, instant regret. reaching for junk happens less and less often. my body craves the good stuff now that it knows what it's missing when i don't eat well. also i'd feel sluggish and sore if i didn't get enough activity in for the day, so i'd find a good workout to add to my routine.. my body now craves good exercise as well. and that's how i built some healthy habits!

where i'm at
fifty pounds seemed like an impossible weight loss goal at first, but now that i've come this far i'm confident i can [eventually] work myself back into the athlete i once was, maybe even a better one. i'm also sure that working through the last ten pounds may well take about as long as the first forty but i've learned something key: don't give up. it's okay to feel like crap some days and it's okay if i slip up, but it's important to never ever ever ever give up.

now back to my major discovery.. Beachbody! i owe the last ten pounds, and the simplification of my diet to this company and their incredible products. after learning the hard way all on my own that their workouts are the most effective, i was glad to have found them. i'm also glad i went through everything that i did first. i feel that i have a greater appreciation for finding a system that works for me that was designed by professionals that know their stuff. it gets even better..

i'm probably the hugest skeptic when it comes to health products and meal replacements, i've tried them all. when i became a Beachbody Coach i told my own coach that i'd totally rock the workouts and help others get into them, but i'd be highly unlikely to try their shake products. firstly because i'm sensitive to whey, and second there's no way their shake ingredients could even touch the lineup of healthy smoothie boosts i have sitting in my cupboard. she insisted that i give them a try at least, to get a feel for the products. after doing my research i found that they did indeed use a lot of those exact same boosts i had bought separately, and that they have a vegan option!

i was thrilled and had to try it. i've tried a few other vegan protein shakes and meal replacements and not liked the taste, even when blended with things. with my Shakeology, the taste isn't so bad, and it really satisfies my hunger. i am truly, absolutely amazed, and how much easier it is when traveling to make sure i get everything i need in a day.. instead of trying to find all my boosts and healthy stuff when traveling, i just need to bring a few packets of Shakeo with me, and suddenly it's way easier to be healthy on the road! what a relief, and what timing.

here's where i'm at now, 173lbs. little tank. Beachbody's PiYo workout [my new favourite] has helped me through. i'm strengthening muscles i forgot i had! i finally crushed a couple pounds off the plateau i've been stuck at [176lbs]. now just barely past it, i know it's going to be a lot of work moving forward. it's worth it to know i'm prolonging my life, and improving the state of the vessel that i'm experiencing it through. surviving is one thing, but to thrive.. that is my goal. and it's ongoing...

Day 12-17 - the Thirty Day Challenge

all of a sudden, it got real busy. the good news is, i haven't skipped a shakeo or a workout. the meh news is, the scale isn't moving much.. but the number has decreased. i wasn't expecting much considering i'm at the last ten pounds of my fifty pound overall weight loss challenge this year, and i've been stuck here for a while. i lost over 30 pounds in the first 21 weeks, then.... huge plateau. the interesting thing is, my shape is changing. it's showing minimally in the measurements [i'm down overall about 2 inches and a pound and a half] but i do look and feel different. clothes fitting different, that sort of thing. something is happening..

i feel pretty good. i've been hella busy preparing for a big long journey west, and this challenge has been the cornerstone of keeping any sort of schedule or routine. i'm keeping up with it despite my strange sleep patterns, sometimes the workouts happen around midnight, sometimes it's early in the morning. but it's happening. i don't get to choose when i sleep, but i'm sleeping. i'm working on the when, and it won't help changing three time zones next week, so i think i'll wait on the when till i get there.

for the past few weeks we've been getting some pretty decent weather. cooler than our average summers, it's been nice sleeping outside in the tent. the time has come to pack it up, and busy as i have been, kick my agenda into high gear. each day between now and departure is right full, and it will be an even greater [but very much worth it!] challenge to keep it up. the bus journey will be interesting. i'm starting to collect some clean snacks, and some not-so-horrible treats so i'm not tempted to grab junk on the road.

well, i've got to get to my PiYo and clean up a little. tomorrow i have some running around to do, lunch with Matty [probably our last date before i go] and bring the last load of stuff i don't need to the storage locker. gotta fly!

time to Thrive.

as of yesterday afternoon, i am officially retired from my full-time job as a retail supervisor. i have decided that in order to better my health and my life, i must take the time to make my well-being my 'full time job'. for the next thirty days, no excuses, no slip-ups, no cheating. lots of exercise, proper rest, and healthy clean eating. learning, too.

after the first few weeks, i take the show on the road. i'll be travelling to the west coast where there is a presence in the 'wellness industry' to learn more about becoming a health coach, and continue on my own personal journey towards better health and fitness. there's a lot of work ahead of me, and some honest dedication. i've come this far already, there's no turning back!

thanks to everyone who has been following my journey so far, your words of encouragement come with loads of support. i'm confident that i can not only succeed at my goals of losing weight, gaining health and building a more healthy and sustainable lifestyle, but also one day help others succeed too.

if you're interested in following my journey through all the ups and downs and delicious details, check out my page at facebook.com/SageThriveChallenge. help me achieve my goals just by following! thanks again:)

Retirement.

after weeks of being stuck in the same place regardless of my efforts, i had come to realize that nutrition wise, i have done all that i can to improve my physical health. but i'm still 'not there' yet. i feel better, but not my best. there's still a stress that has been weighing me down.

the next step is to look deeper into my lifestyle, my environments and my habits. i'm very anxious lately, as i tend to become when i'm overburdened with belongings, expenses and unhealthy habits. i've had to rethink what is important to me right now. for a while i needed money to fulfill the lifestyle choices i had made. for now, it's time i crave.

i'm certainly not giving up on my healthy diet choices, and i've been putting more effort into being conscious of everything i eat, and my portions. people [myself included] seem to eat more than needed to operate. in fact, the over eating seems to slow me down. i function better when consuming smaller portions yet more often than just a few times a day. overall i eat less than what the typical north american diet would consider three meals, but i try to eat as nutrient dense foods as i can, and stay well hydrated.

reverting back to my classic mode of transience, more or less living out of a rucksack, will free me of much of the stress that i have been dealing with the last while. there will be other stresses of course, the kinds that are needed to be effective in my decisions and actions, not the consistent repetative ones that never change regardless of any efforts made. after a while those kinds of stresses become too overwhelming to deal with, and i must take a break.

it's time to explore my options. i'm breaking out of my current lifestyle to experience other ways of living across my home country. the diversity of climate and culture here alone is an adventure of experiences and lessons i'm looking forward to. i'm not sure how long i'll be on the move, i suppose as long as it takes.

be the change, drink the juice.

something strange is happening.. more like something awesome! this challenge has become more than just my own. i started this blog in january of 2013 with the idea that publicly noting my journey to find health would keep me on track. well, it's working. i can honestly say that after everything i've tried, triumphs and defeats, i may have given up long ago if i didn't make a point of sharing it all.

 it hasn't been an easy journey, that's the truth. but it's getting better. the reality is, there isn't a magic pill or quick diet or cleanse that will fix all of my problems or lose all of my extra pounds. it takes a lifestyle change, an attitude alteration, and dedication to finding true health. i wasn't always the most motivated person in the world, nor the best educated on the subject of nutrition. after a year and a half of reading, researching, and trying different things, i am finally on the right path to what works best for me.

now back to the challenge. people around me are starting to notice a difference.. maybe even more than i have seen in myself. i've lost 18 pounds since the beginning of 2014, and i have a lot more energy [and a lot less tummy aches] than ever. naturally, people want to know what i'm doing and they want to try too.

for quite some time now, i've known what i needed to do. but i always had excuses like i'm too broke to eat well, or i don't have time or any means to prepare a decent meal. when really i could have been prioritizing my money [and my time] better, and being more resourceful with the tools i had available to me. i have less of a 'kitchen' now than i ever have in an established dwelling, yet i prepare [and grow!] more of my own food these days than i have my whole life. and by prepare i don't mean pop a microwave dinner in the nuke or boil up some KD, i mean using fresh ingredients from scratch.

a couple years ago i started collecting things to jumpstart into a more healthy lifestyle like a juicer and a blender and planted a garden in the yard. after a few months the juicer became too much of a hassle, the blender lost it's appeal, and the garden didn't fair so well. this cycle repeated for a few years, each year saw improvements.

finally something clicked inside of me. i decided it was time to take responsibility for my self and my own health. i do have a choice in the matter, i can choose to live a healthier lifestyle, or i can choose to keep putting it off and slowly accumulate various health discomforts. today, i choose health. and yesterday, and hopefully a bunch of tomorrows too.

early in the year i blew the dust off the juicer and got right back into it. i fed my mind with all of the information about the benefits of juicing raw vegetables, and the idea became more appealing. eventually the vegetables that once tasted bitter to me juiced have mellowed out. cucumber simply tastes like freshness now, and celery is barely noticeable beside the hint of ginger and lime. this time around, instead of jumping right into hardcore veggie juicing, i started with the apples and added in the veg. now the only fruit i use is an apple or two and a bit of lemon lime to zest it up and keep it fresh.

every day in the lunch room, someone asks what i'm drinking. and i tell them! some are grossed out at the idea of pressed veggies, some are intrigued, and some even ask for a taste. this keeps me conscious every morning when i'm packing my lunch bag what i'm going to take.. am i making healthy choices? can i really make it to first break without my super smoothie? i know i don't feel like making juice right now [five in the morning], but do i really want to go all day without it? nah. i might be tired some days [not all days anymore] but i know it's worth it to do this for myself. it makes me feel better. and every week or so, the scale moves a notch towards my goal.

it's starting to catch on.

people that i work with are picking up on these healthy habits, and trying them on for size. even my parents who in recent years were more health savvy than i, have taken interest in this juicy new facet of my life. i love hearing the reports on others' juicing and nutribullet-ing adventures. especially the parts where they notice a positive change in their health, and on the scale. it's nice to have friends to take this journey with me, the more the merrier. if i can inspire others to be more conscious of their own health by drinking a big ol' jar of juice every day, then it's already too good to stop.

be the change... drink the juice!

the scale

it's an important tool when on a journey to better health, i find. i never used to care about the numbers, but without some way to measure it's hard to see results. last year i'd used our roommates scale for the first half, then after we moved we went the second half of the year without one. i suppose i felt a little lost because i couldn't tell if i was making a difference, so i finally caved and picked one up at the start of the year.

i spent a majority of my late teens and early twenties wandering around with a rucksack, stopping from time to time to inhabit random dwellings but i never stayed for long. when i was kept busy getting up before sunrise and constantly on the move, my weight was pretty average. i settled into the domesticated life when i came back to town and started working full time night shift. i gained weight quickly, having hashimoto's didn't help my cause. after a couple years i had gone from 150 [which i already thought was heavy] to over 180. i stopped looking.. my heaviest weight was 213 pounds by the start of 2012. oh, i'm 5'5", just in case you were wondering. i'd never had the nerve to take a picture of the scale back then, i was in denial that my weight was out of control.

by sheer force i managed to lose ten pounds, but it took me a year to do it. i leveled out at 205 which stayed my average weight for another year. at the beginning of 2013 i started this blog, and my search for the 'perfect diet and exercise' regime that would help me lose weight. i lost a few pounds here and there, i think i'd lost about ten pounds total [all of which i gained back], but at least i'd gained hope that it is possible to make the numbers go in the other direction.

when i stepped on the scale today, i was half expecting my numbers to have gone up a couple notches for having 'fallen off the wagon' a few days ago and had a veggie burger combo, and the next day a small order of fries. i'd kept up with the juicing and other healthy inputs of course, but still.. i was totally shocked when i looked down. i really couldn't believe it, i had to reset the scale a few times and rub my eyes to make sure everything was working right.

189.6! i can't even remember the last time i saw a number under 190. i know it's just a pound less than the last time i mentioned my weight, but it still seems so surreal! i suppose i didn't want to get my hopes up on bringing my weight down, and it was super extra satisfying to know i made it under my next expected plateau. i mean, it could still be one, but i'm staying positive. hard work and dedication and self-education truly does pay off. until next time.... yay!

sick day.

i never call in sick. ever. but i did.. it was.. interesting. yay fever...


so here's what happened. everyone at work was getting sick. i just had to go and say it.. "i'm not worried, i never get sick!". and that has been mostly true. i believe that it has a lot to do with the fact that i have been juicing and consuming 3-4 quarts of freshly juiced vegetables and citrus every day for a few weeks. i had started juicing daily at the beginning of the year, but as soon as all the flu bugs started going around, i doubled up. i had made it through my entire team at work [and my boyfriend] getting sick twice so far this year. i thought i had it beat.

til early thursday morning... the power went out. i couldn't make my juice, or my power packed mean green breakfast smoothie. i ate a banana, which is about all the solid food i can stomach that early in the morning, and walked to work in the dark. i did my best not to panic, but i knew i was walking into a battlefield unshielded. i'm positive i had already picked up the bug, but had remained unaffected because of the daily bombardment of pro-healthy goodness.

i made it through my workday somehow, i was tired within the first couple hours. i usually would have had plenty of energy from my daily breakfast smoothie.. and of course, i felt very hungry. my joints were swelling already. i had learned from various sources that fresh celery juice was good for joint pain. i guess i hadn't realized how well it was working until i suddenly didn't have it in me. i was in slow motion all day. i couldn't concentrate, and all i wanted to do was faceplant into my bed.

as soon as i got home [and the power was finally restored] i made an emergency batch of fresh orange and apple juice with a double dose of ginger. i slammed it. i was already horribly exhausted, so in an attempt to beat the bug i went to bed early so that my body might have a fighting chance against it. 1am rolled around, and i was awoken by the heat of my own fever. dang. i tried to go back to sleep, but it was no use. by 4am i was calling work, pounding head, fever, aches and chills... the sick finally got me.

i really, really hate getting sick. and i hate missing work.. but knowing that i was already compromised and now weakened, i felt it best to stay home and deal with it right away rather than prolong the suffering. it's not all bad though, i learned a very important lesson; patience.

what does patience have to do with anything?? well..

everything.

i've been spending the past fifteen months learning everything i can about having an autoimmune disease, and what i should be doing to overcome it. and sometimes it's hard to see any progress, especially when it comes to the weight loss and my overall energy. it wasn't until i suddenly lost access to the abundant nourishment that i've been using to help my body heal, that i realized it was doing anything at all. and having to spend a day without these wonderful nectars of life reminded me that changes don't just happen over night, and that i am doing so much to support my body's healing system. giving up at this point is not an option.

that being said... there is progress.

first of all, i did end up quitting smoking last year, which i believe is helping immensely. for everything overall. overcoming addictions isn't easy for anyone, and i have a history with addiction. i'm still amazed that i no longer have cravings, and am even most usually repulsed at the idea of smoking a cigarette. and then, there's my weight. having hashimoto's has made losing weight pretty well impossible my whole life. it was more subtle when i spent the majority of my time living, wandering and generally being outside, but the weight gain had hastened since becoming a full-time domesticated human. i went from gaining on average two pounds a year at that point in my life, to a whopping ten pounds a year. so in the past five years that i have been living a 'standard north american lifestyle', i'd put on fifty pounds. Fifty. Pounds.

by the time i had finally purchased a scale so that i could keep track of my progress, i was over two hundred. since i started paying exceptional attention to what i put into my body, i have lost ten of those pounds in the past ten weeks. it seems to me like a slow start, and it's hard to stay positive when i'm not seeing the difference so much yet, but it's happening. the numbers on the scale are no longer going in the direction of extreme obesity. yay me!

so about that sick day.. yeah, i'm still sick. but! not to the point of absolute bed ridden horror that Matt seems to go through when he gets sick. not so sick that i can't move for days like i used to get. i have the aches and my chest is on fire for the first couple hours that i'm awake, but i feel much better already than the day it hit me [yesterday]. i'm taming the fever, and i'm still able to get out for fresh air, and as long as i keep up with the juicing and lots of greens i should be ready to go back to work again on monday. but for now... relaxation.