Like, really?
The last time I hit this blog was in April.. I had every intention to get back on track with my health, but mostly failed. I did buy a scale, which may have squashed my motivation a little seeing what it read.. and I have been using my Nutribullet almost daily for breakfast. Besides that and [finally!] quitting smoking, that's about as far as I got. On the plus side, I haven't gained much more weight. Watching the numbers slowly but steadily climb for almost a year was telling me it's time to get my health in check. But I ignored the obvious.
It's not all about the weight, having gained weight is just a sign of how my health in general has declined. My body is pretty keen on accumulating weight when something isn't right internally. My guts kill me no matter what or how much I eat. I'm in some kind of trouble.
I can't take it anymore. I'm sick, I'm tired, I'm heavy. My partner, as amazing as he is, has the "beauty is what's inside" attitude... which kind of doesn't help. I'm beyond thankful for his presence, but he doesn't understand my "need to change".
First things first.
I dusted off my fitbit for the first time in a while. I started driving regularly just over a year ago, and unfortunately no longer needing to walk my ass off to get to work has had a huge impact on my daily 'step count'. And I mean HUGE. Like I don't think I even realized... I thought I was still doing a lot of walking during my shifts, up and down stairs, up and down ladders, back and forth across the jobsite several times a day.. But it just isn't enough. I'm not even touching the 'daily goal' of ten thousand steps preset by the fitbit app, when before I drove, I'd get 30,000 steps a day easy. I almost crapped when I saw at the end of a work day I was only at 7 thousand steps.
So my first goal is.. ten thousand a day. At least. I will have to become more conscious of my steps, and make time to take more if I haven't reached my goal.
Keeping track.
I'm right back at my all time heaviest weight. I'm carrying it a little better this time than I did years ago, but that's not the point.. I'm still carrying it. So here I'm going to list my current measurements, no matter the 'embarrassment'. I know I'll appreciate it later. Plus it's more for my own records, but I'm sharing that if I may some day encourage someone else to push through the same struggles. So here it is:
Weight: 223.3 lbs [height 5'5"]
Pant size: 16
Waist: 51"
Bust: 48"
R thigh: 30.5"
L thigh: 32"
R arm: 13.5"
L arm: 13"
So there. Last time I was this weight, I believe I was size 18+ and I'd never bother to buy jeans to save myself the struggle of finding some that fit. At least right now I can wear jeans, because I need to for work. Sheet metal is sharp! Though I wish they were a little looser fit. My goal pant size is 8, last time at which I weighed roughly 160 lbs. I still have my goal pants from last time around.
Make the decision.
One must decide first that they want to be healthy before one can become healthy. I'd made that decision once before, and that's when I had my greatest success. My mistake was not keeping up with my healthy lifestyle choices, for giving up when I hit a rough patch in my life. I admit it's not easy to eat healthy and plan for regular exercise when living outside, being healthy was not as much a concern as merely surviving.
When I finally got back on my feet about a year ago, I gave my health some thought, but that was about the end of it. I got comfortable, and complacent about the status of my health. It didn't matter as much as securing jobs, and finding a roof under which to live. My focus all year was purely external, knowing full well my health was continually being sacrificed.
I can't let that happen anymore. I must decide. One step at a time. Forever forward. I'm beginning again, from the start. All I ask from my friends and loved ones is for a little encouragement. Please remind me that I'm worth it, I tend to forget from time to time. Thanks, and lots of love.
xo
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